Man, this weekend really passed WAY too fast! It really kinda upsets me that it's already Sunday. Last weekend, the weekend seemed to last out rather nicely. Yeah, it's not so much for this weekend. It feels like Dustin has just gotten home from school on Thursday! Didn't even do that much this weekend either, which is one of the sad parts.
Friday, me, Dustin, and Ryan all went to go see Grease at WMHS, our former HS, and Ryan's current one. It was a very good play production. The events leading up to it sucked though! First of all, it started storming HARD when we started getting ready. It was extremely windy and raining very hard and thundering. But a little before we left it stopped, the sun even tried peeping through. That made me happier. BUT of course luck would have it, just before we left, the storm popped back up again! Ugh it was not cool. Then, as we were leaving, Elvis got out of the house and BOLTED, he had his harness on luckily, in case he got lost. But THEN Bella got out too and bolted after him! So Dustin and Ryan had to chase the two down a few houses down across the street. Then we were finally able to get there. We were able to get tickets, thankfully, any later and it woulda been sold out. And we were also lucky enough to find 3 seats together, that was good. And then the play was great.
Saturday, we did nothing, I think. We literally did NOTHING. All we did, was sleep...all...day...long. We went to sleep and got like 6 hrs. of sleep the night before. And then we woke up at like 6am and stayed up. But went back to sleep around 10ish til 3ish. And then woke up for a little while. I was tired so i took ANOTHER nap, while Dustin watched t.v. But at some point I was RUDELY awakened by Ryan playing the drums, and he played them for over an hour straight! It was ridiculous and he KNEW i was taking a nap. I was pissed. Eventually I got up and we watched t.v. and played some LBP i think? And then we ended up falling asleep at some point til like 2am.
Today, we've been up since we woke at 2am I think. So tired right now. But around noon, we went and met my mom, she gave me $20 to get some dye for my hair. So I went and got 2 boxes of lightener and a box of red dye. That's what I'm working on right now. The first round of lightener wasn't so great. It did the roots mostly and the rest was an orangey red. And then some spots didn't seem to lighten at all! It pissed me off. So I went to rinse, and go figure, NO HOT WATER! UGHHHH!!! So I had to rinse the bleach with cold water, after I conditioned it, i rinsed it partially with some water Dustin boiled and then finished with cold water. Then I dried it. Now, I'm sitting here with round two of lightener in my hair. If this doesn't work, I'm practically screwwwedddd. And I will have to put the red in, as i dont have any other bottles of lightener. Meh. So idk how this will go. I rinse it in about a half hour. So exhausted right now though. Been working on this since like 1:00pm. So that's what, 3 and a half hrs? Mejhfnkjafwfjkwa. Gonna relax til its done sitting? :/
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Eh...
Well, this week is almost over, for Dustin anyway, it's his last day for the week, so that's awesome. This week actually wasn't too bad to be perfectly honest. I mean, there were some bad times, of course. But I mean it was good in terms of how fast it went. It wasn't really that slow at all tbh. I actually cannot believe it's Thursday, it's kinda surprising too me. But of course, that's a good thing! The sooner I can spend time with my love! But, there's bad news. The woman, Renee, that he carpooled with, decided she didn't wanna carpool anymore. Here's the story...
So Tuesday, Dustin gets up and outta the house at normal time to arrive at the park and ride, where he meets Renee every morning. He got there around 5:45, the normal time he gets there each morning. He called me, and was like "umm she isn't here..." and I asked if he had called her, and he did once, she didn't answer. So I told him to hang up with me, and keep trying her. I told him if she wasn't there by 6, he needed to get outta there. So he only called her one more time, no answer, he called me back, and took off alone to school. I was beyond pissed off. Because it's like, okay, if you're not gonna be there, call at least! Now Dustin, on the verge of being late to class, is extremely confused. He told me that Monday evening, on their way home, Renee told him she wasn't sure anymore about this whole carpooling thing. Because each day they've carpooled, Dustin's class got out a little later than hers, and she wanted to be home to her daughter. But that was kinda like wtf, because she's only arriving a half hour later to her daughter than if she wasnt carpooling. She was like "you'd be the same way if you wanted to get home to something and has to wait for me." And i was like EXCUSE ME?! Because he DOES have something he wants to get home to...ME! He wants to be home with me JUST as much, but he'd wait for her, and I'd understand, because carpooling is better than him driving the whole time everyday! But Dustin told me that she never right out said "I don't wanna carpool" she just was questioning it. That's what I woulda thought too! So finally, as Dustin and I were talking, Renee calls and he answers. She apparently was like "oh, I thought you understood it wasn't going to work out?" With Dustin you've got to be black and white, no gray area! He's a guy! Apparently she felt bad, well she better! She made him almost late! The poor guy had to rush all the way to school, speeding the entire way, and he even had to change in the car. He got in RIGHT at 7. But yeah, so he isn't carpooling anymore. That sucks, cause his car has terrible gas mileage. It wont be too bad once his mom finds a replacement for herself at her current job, as she's being relocated to an area about 15 min from home.Then he gets to use her car. But yeah, that's the story on that. I can't text him anymore, but we talk on the phone part of his ride there.
Yesterday was kinda bleh. I mean, it wasn't too bad, it was just...tiring, I guess. I didn't get to sleep at the time I normally do, which is 8ish. I think I finally went to go lie down after Dustin called me on his break around like 10:30. Until then I had talked to my friend Vicky, so it wasn't bad. I slept mostly the whole time, except for when Dustin called me around 12 when he had lunch. And then he called at 2:30 when he left, and we talked part of his way home. I got in the shower before he got home because I wanted to take a walk with him, Elvis, and Bella when he got here. But as soon as he got home, his step-dad called to remind him about an eye doctor appointment he had. Something we both forgot about, ugh. That was at 5:30, the appt. that is. So we only really had a half hour at most for the walk. After we headed to the eye doctor, we were there for an hour and a half! Dustin needed his exam, new contacts, and a fitting for new glasses. The same for his mom. Urrrggg. It was SO boring! Then we had to run to Giant, for Dustin to pick up the ingredients he needed for this lemon tart thing he's gonna make for us this weekend. Then finally we got to head home. As soon as we were there, Dustin got started on the shell of the tart, as it needs to sit in the fridge for some hours. Although it was almost all for nothing, because he forgot he needed to make the lemon filling and let that sit for some hours too. But once he finished the shell, he got started on making some dinner. At Giant, we got to sample this pancake batter fried chicken, it was soooo good! So that's what he made for dinner. He was at that for like...an hour or more! By the time he was done, it was almost 10. That really upset me, because it was almost bed time, Dustin goes to bed at 10 every night! I was really sad. But Dustin told me he would stay up til 11. So we ate our food then spent the rest of the night watching t.v. together. I was super tired, so I went to bed like 15 min. after Dustin and slept through the whole night til his alarm at 4:30! That was unusual for me! I never sleep the whole time. So it was NICE! I'm SO TIRED STILL though!
This morning went really fast, I hope that means the rest of the day will go fast too. That would be great, if so. See, Dustin gets out of class early today! Yesterday and today they've been having sanitation training, they have to take this class every so often to renew their certification. Today, after they finish the rest of their training, they have an exam. The instructor said it would take place around 1pm and it takes most people about a half hour to take. Dustin said it's about 80 questions, but it's allll multiple choice! So hopefully that's all the time it'll take him, because then he'll get out of class an hour early! He said he's pretty sure the instructor said they're allowed to leave after the test. So that will be REALLY nice. The morning's going by really fast so far, even after Dustin left. It feels like he just left, yet it's already close to time that I usually take my nap! And I probably will be taking that nap today. Sooo tired right now. Wanna be rested when Dustin gets home, that way, we can possibly go for a walk again today. A better walk this time, since it's gonna be SUPER nice today! Even nicer than yesterday. Hopefully there's a bit of a breeze, because there wasn't really yesterday and it was borderline hot out, and it was only 65ish! Today it's gona be more like 75. Spring is so great after such a harsh winter :] isn't it? I have a good feeling about today, I really do. I just hope it goes as planned. I shouldn't get my hopes up. But it sounds like it should be a nice day. It's going by quick so far, I'm tired so a nap will make it go even quicker! With my luck though...I wont be able to sleep, for whatever reason! BAH! Anyway, gonna go watch pokemon, then probs take a nap!
So Tuesday, Dustin gets up and outta the house at normal time to arrive at the park and ride, where he meets Renee every morning. He got there around 5:45, the normal time he gets there each morning. He called me, and was like "umm she isn't here..." and I asked if he had called her, and he did once, she didn't answer. So I told him to hang up with me, and keep trying her. I told him if she wasn't there by 6, he needed to get outta there. So he only called her one more time, no answer, he called me back, and took off alone to school. I was beyond pissed off. Because it's like, okay, if you're not gonna be there, call at least! Now Dustin, on the verge of being late to class, is extremely confused. He told me that Monday evening, on their way home, Renee told him she wasn't sure anymore about this whole carpooling thing. Because each day they've carpooled, Dustin's class got out a little later than hers, and she wanted to be home to her daughter. But that was kinda like wtf, because she's only arriving a half hour later to her daughter than if she wasnt carpooling. She was like "you'd be the same way if you wanted to get home to something and has to wait for me." And i was like EXCUSE ME?! Because he DOES have something he wants to get home to...ME! He wants to be home with me JUST as much, but he'd wait for her, and I'd understand, because carpooling is better than him driving the whole time everyday! But Dustin told me that she never right out said "I don't wanna carpool" she just was questioning it. That's what I woulda thought too! So finally, as Dustin and I were talking, Renee calls and he answers. She apparently was like "oh, I thought you understood it wasn't going to work out?" With Dustin you've got to be black and white, no gray area! He's a guy! Apparently she felt bad, well she better! She made him almost late! The poor guy had to rush all the way to school, speeding the entire way, and he even had to change in the car. He got in RIGHT at 7. But yeah, so he isn't carpooling anymore. That sucks, cause his car has terrible gas mileage. It wont be too bad once his mom finds a replacement for herself at her current job, as she's being relocated to an area about 15 min from home.Then he gets to use her car. But yeah, that's the story on that. I can't text him anymore, but we talk on the phone part of his ride there.
Yesterday was kinda bleh. I mean, it wasn't too bad, it was just...tiring, I guess. I didn't get to sleep at the time I normally do, which is 8ish. I think I finally went to go lie down after Dustin called me on his break around like 10:30. Until then I had talked to my friend Vicky, so it wasn't bad. I slept mostly the whole time, except for when Dustin called me around 12 when he had lunch. And then he called at 2:30 when he left, and we talked part of his way home. I got in the shower before he got home because I wanted to take a walk with him, Elvis, and Bella when he got here. But as soon as he got home, his step-dad called to remind him about an eye doctor appointment he had. Something we both forgot about, ugh. That was at 5:30, the appt. that is. So we only really had a half hour at most for the walk. After we headed to the eye doctor, we were there for an hour and a half! Dustin needed his exam, new contacts, and a fitting for new glasses. The same for his mom. Urrrggg. It was SO boring! Then we had to run to Giant, for Dustin to pick up the ingredients he needed for this lemon tart thing he's gonna make for us this weekend. Then finally we got to head home. As soon as we were there, Dustin got started on the shell of the tart, as it needs to sit in the fridge for some hours. Although it was almost all for nothing, because he forgot he needed to make the lemon filling and let that sit for some hours too. But once he finished the shell, he got started on making some dinner. At Giant, we got to sample this pancake batter fried chicken, it was soooo good! So that's what he made for dinner. He was at that for like...an hour or more! By the time he was done, it was almost 10. That really upset me, because it was almost bed time, Dustin goes to bed at 10 every night! I was really sad. But Dustin told me he would stay up til 11. So we ate our food then spent the rest of the night watching t.v. together. I was super tired, so I went to bed like 15 min. after Dustin and slept through the whole night til his alarm at 4:30! That was unusual for me! I never sleep the whole time. So it was NICE! I'm SO TIRED STILL though!
This morning went really fast, I hope that means the rest of the day will go fast too. That would be great, if so. See, Dustin gets out of class early today! Yesterday and today they've been having sanitation training, they have to take this class every so often to renew their certification. Today, after they finish the rest of their training, they have an exam. The instructor said it would take place around 1pm and it takes most people about a half hour to take. Dustin said it's about 80 questions, but it's allll multiple choice! So hopefully that's all the time it'll take him, because then he'll get out of class an hour early! He said he's pretty sure the instructor said they're allowed to leave after the test. So that will be REALLY nice. The morning's going by really fast so far, even after Dustin left. It feels like he just left, yet it's already close to time that I usually take my nap! And I probably will be taking that nap today. Sooo tired right now. Wanna be rested when Dustin gets home, that way, we can possibly go for a walk again today. A better walk this time, since it's gonna be SUPER nice today! Even nicer than yesterday. Hopefully there's a bit of a breeze, because there wasn't really yesterday and it was borderline hot out, and it was only 65ish! Today it's gona be more like 75. Spring is so great after such a harsh winter :] isn't it? I have a good feeling about today, I really do. I just hope it goes as planned. I shouldn't get my hopes up. But it sounds like it should be a nice day. It's going by quick so far, I'm tired so a nap will make it go even quicker! With my luck though...I wont be able to sleep, for whatever reason! BAH! Anyway, gonna go watch pokemon, then probs take a nap!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Back to reality...
Yep, it's back to reality now. The weekend I got to spend with Dustin is over and now it's Monday again, that means back to school for him, unfortunately. But this weekend kinda sucked. I mean, I got to spend it with Dustin, but everything else sucked, practically. Spending it with Dustin was pretty much good enough, it just would have been nice to spend a really nice and fun and entertaining weekend with him.
Friday wasn't so bad I guess. We stayed up SUPER late together and then slept in really late. But then we were awoken by a text Dustin got from a friend of ours. That had a picture in it of our friends youngest brother trying to choke their mother and they asked us to come over and help. So we got ready and headed over there. But everything was finished with by the time they got there, because luckily another friend was closer and able to get there sooner. But it was okay, because we hadn't been to their house in a long time and we wanted to spend some time over there with them. But we weren't too excited because there were A LOT of people there and quite a few were gonna be drinking all night. Carl, Kat, Kat's 2 friends, Matt, and Liam were all in the basement drinking. Then Miss Sue, Danny, Mike, George, Andy, Rachel, me and Dustin were all upstairs. It wasn't bad though, it was pretty fun, we just all laughed and talked. But then it went sour. Mike and George went outside while George smoked, and while they were out there, they smelled pot, really strongly. So they found out the people drinking were outback now smoking pot. Mike hates pot, so he got REALLY pissed and sat outside alone for a while, then he came in and went straight to bed :/ it sucked.
Saturday, Shawn was supposed to come over and have a look at my laptop sometime before 5. It's having some booting up issues atm. So, since Dustin and I stayed up really late, cause I was feeling sick all night, we set an alarm for 3 and that's when I was gonna get a hold of Shawn to come over. But 3 rolled around and Dustin and I couldn't stay awake, so we fell back asleep and woke up around, well, I forget when, but it was still before 5, but I messaged Shawn and just told him we'll see about doing it Sunday instead. Then we started getting ready for trivia at like...5:30-6 since it was at Belisimo's at 7. That sucked because I wasn't feeling well, still. But we get there, and we have to sit at the end of the table while the rest of the family is all bunched together at the other end, so we were practically excluded. Which is stupid, because they keep saying how "vital" we are to the team, yet David [age 10] and Skylar [age 9] were sitting up with the main group, and they don't know ANYTHING! They're just kids for goodness sakes! They cannot help with any of the trivia, trust me, we've been doing trivia for some time now, and they've practically been nothing but an annoyance, well, David was, Skylar wasn't bad, but he's still a bump on a log. So I was a little upset about that. But also I was feeling crappy while we were there the whole time and our team was doing shitty too. But I started to feel better about midway through and ordered some food for myself and had a bit of fun. We still did shitty though.
We stayed up late again Saturday and slept in late on Sunday. Dustin was supposed to make pastries Sunday, but he kinda piddled away the weekend and didn't tell his mom to get the ingredients, so he couldn't do that. Also, Shawn was supposed to come over, we were supposed to do laundry, and we were supposed to clean the room. Well, I texted Shawn around 5:30 because we slept in really late. I didn't get any reply from him. As it got later and later I realized it was safe to assume he wasn't coming. So I sent him a FB message and he replied saying his car's messed up til Monday. So idk if that means he can drive Monday, or if it's getting fixed Monday and he can't drive til Tuesday or later in the week. But I told him to let me know. We also didn't even get to do laundry OR clean! Dustin had mentioned laundry and asked if he should do it, and I shrugged, and somehow it never got done. So Sunday was rather unproductive. We had tacos for dinner though, that was nice. And we all played Mad Gab. I thought the night would end nicely, until I found out someone took one of my grapefruit cups. I pissed me off mostly because it had my NAME ON THE BOX! It's right on the top, like, you couldn't miss it with the way you have to open the box! We found out it was Dustin's step brother David. Which doesn't surprise me, because he frequently takes our food and eats it even with our names on it, because the kid cannot stop eating, even if it means eating someone elses food. So I was PISSED! I had Dustin talk to his mom about a cheap mini fridge since our food rather frequently gets eaten by David and probably Tyler and his friends. She seemed pretty open to the idea, so that's good. I'm still mad though and plan to talk to David when he's here Weds. Also found out today that the "no food in your room" rule was changed. Dustin's mom told everyone except us, that they could eat in their rooms as long as they clean it up. She said we'd never leave our room apparently. But whatever, we know about the rule now, so that's pretty nice.
So yeah, now Dustin's off to school. Well he was a half hour ago. And I get to text him again, Renee is luckily driving again. But only because Dustin didn't have the chance to get gas probably. That's another thing we were supposed to do Sunday, and we were supposed to stop by Mikes again too I just remembered, because we were gona stop by Sat. but didn't. -Sigh- but yeah, it sucks having been with him 3 days straight and now he's gone again. Bleh. But I should hopefully be okay. I have my Niacinamide pill to take, which I'll take arounf 7, when he gets to school. I cut it in half this time though. They're too huge to swallow. But uh, yeah, so I'm gona go back to watching t.v. and texting him for now :D!
Friday wasn't so bad I guess. We stayed up SUPER late together and then slept in really late. But then we were awoken by a text Dustin got from a friend of ours. That had a picture in it of our friends youngest brother trying to choke their mother and they asked us to come over and help. So we got ready and headed over there. But everything was finished with by the time they got there, because luckily another friend was closer and able to get there sooner. But it was okay, because we hadn't been to their house in a long time and we wanted to spend some time over there with them. But we weren't too excited because there were A LOT of people there and quite a few were gonna be drinking all night. Carl, Kat, Kat's 2 friends, Matt, and Liam were all in the basement drinking. Then Miss Sue, Danny, Mike, George, Andy, Rachel, me and Dustin were all upstairs. It wasn't bad though, it was pretty fun, we just all laughed and talked. But then it went sour. Mike and George went outside while George smoked, and while they were out there, they smelled pot, really strongly. So they found out the people drinking were outback now smoking pot. Mike hates pot, so he got REALLY pissed and sat outside alone for a while, then he came in and went straight to bed :/ it sucked.
Saturday, Shawn was supposed to come over and have a look at my laptop sometime before 5. It's having some booting up issues atm. So, since Dustin and I stayed up really late, cause I was feeling sick all night, we set an alarm for 3 and that's when I was gonna get a hold of Shawn to come over. But 3 rolled around and Dustin and I couldn't stay awake, so we fell back asleep and woke up around, well, I forget when, but it was still before 5, but I messaged Shawn and just told him we'll see about doing it Sunday instead. Then we started getting ready for trivia at like...5:30-6 since it was at Belisimo's at 7. That sucked because I wasn't feeling well, still. But we get there, and we have to sit at the end of the table while the rest of the family is all bunched together at the other end, so we were practically excluded. Which is stupid, because they keep saying how "vital" we are to the team, yet David [age 10] and Skylar [age 9] were sitting up with the main group, and they don't know ANYTHING! They're just kids for goodness sakes! They cannot help with any of the trivia, trust me, we've been doing trivia for some time now, and they've practically been nothing but an annoyance, well, David was, Skylar wasn't bad, but he's still a bump on a log. So I was a little upset about that. But also I was feeling crappy while we were there the whole time and our team was doing shitty too. But I started to feel better about midway through and ordered some food for myself and had a bit of fun. We still did shitty though.
We stayed up late again Saturday and slept in late on Sunday. Dustin was supposed to make pastries Sunday, but he kinda piddled away the weekend and didn't tell his mom to get the ingredients, so he couldn't do that. Also, Shawn was supposed to come over, we were supposed to do laundry, and we were supposed to clean the room. Well, I texted Shawn around 5:30 because we slept in really late. I didn't get any reply from him. As it got later and later I realized it was safe to assume he wasn't coming. So I sent him a FB message and he replied saying his car's messed up til Monday. So idk if that means he can drive Monday, or if it's getting fixed Monday and he can't drive til Tuesday or later in the week. But I told him to let me know. We also didn't even get to do laundry OR clean! Dustin had mentioned laundry and asked if he should do it, and I shrugged, and somehow it never got done. So Sunday was rather unproductive. We had tacos for dinner though, that was nice. And we all played Mad Gab. I thought the night would end nicely, until I found out someone took one of my grapefruit cups. I pissed me off mostly because it had my NAME ON THE BOX! It's right on the top, like, you couldn't miss it with the way you have to open the box! We found out it was Dustin's step brother David. Which doesn't surprise me, because he frequently takes our food and eats it even with our names on it, because the kid cannot stop eating, even if it means eating someone elses food. So I was PISSED! I had Dustin talk to his mom about a cheap mini fridge since our food rather frequently gets eaten by David and probably Tyler and his friends. She seemed pretty open to the idea, so that's good. I'm still mad though and plan to talk to David when he's here Weds. Also found out today that the "no food in your room" rule was changed. Dustin's mom told everyone except us, that they could eat in their rooms as long as they clean it up. She said we'd never leave our room apparently. But whatever, we know about the rule now, so that's pretty nice.
So yeah, now Dustin's off to school. Well he was a half hour ago. And I get to text him again, Renee is luckily driving again. But only because Dustin didn't have the chance to get gas probably. That's another thing we were supposed to do Sunday, and we were supposed to stop by Mikes again too I just remembered, because we were gona stop by Sat. but didn't. -Sigh- but yeah, it sucks having been with him 3 days straight and now he's gone again. Bleh. But I should hopefully be okay. I have my Niacinamide pill to take, which I'll take arounf 7, when he gets to school. I cut it in half this time though. They're too huge to swallow. But uh, yeah, so I'm gona go back to watching t.v. and texting him for now :D!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Doing Better...
Been doing pretty good lately with Dustin being gone now. It hasn't been long since the anxiety attack, but I did good on Wednesday, and I'm doing good today so far. I was really proud of myself yesterday, no medicine and I was fine. Then again, Dustin's mom and his youngest brother were home all day long, because his mom took his brother to the doc. and turned out he had strep >..
So, yesterday...I got so mad at Dustin. He went to school, like normal, I got to text him the whole way, because he carpooled with Renee, a woman who I thought was in his class, but she's in the culinary class. That was really nice. So I decided to take a nap around mid-day, I guess it was like...11:20 or something like that when I started nodding off. And then Emily started texting me, I forget what time that was, around 12 maybe? I was texting her til about...I dunno, 1:00 I think, then I fell asleep. After that, I woke up around about 3:00. When I looked at the time, I was really confused and had to make sure I was reading it right. See, Dustin gets out of class at 2:30, and he got out basically right at 2:30 Monday and Tuesday. So this was when I was expecting him out, maybe a little after, since he did more today than the previous days. But 3:20 rolls around and I start to get worried, he's now rather late from getting outta class. Finally, I decide to text him. Because I also expected a text from him at some point throughout the day, because I told him to just check in with me on break. He texts me back and tells me he is just now getting ready to leave! I was mad! He told me it was because he had to do floors this week, and people who do floors leave last. But an extra 45 minutes or so AFTER class ended? Are you kidding? For one, that's rude to Renee [whom made me very happy this morning, Dustin was supposed to drive HER to school today since she did it yesterday, but she offered again, so I get to talk to Dustin on his way :D], because SHE has to wait for him since she's his ride. And also, well, it's not nice to me. I mean, I understand, he had to do floors, this was unavoidable. I also get the fact that because of this fact, he is NOT going to get out at 2:30, a little later obviously, but I would expect him to get out at like 2:50 or something like that. But the thing that made me most mad, was that he didn't SAY anything! He knew that he had to do floors, and I'd say it's common sense you'll get out a little late. So from the start he should have known to say something to me. But then, as time passed by 2:30, he should have DEF. said something to me. He kept saying he didn't realize time passed that far, but that's why he should have texted me or something to begin with. Then he tells me there's no service, or not much, which is why he didn't text me during the day. But I told him he should have excused himself to use the schools phone and CALL me! We ended up getting into a huge argument about it though, because I was worried about him, and he was telling me that it was dumb for me to worried because the worst, according to him, that could happen is that he "cuts/burns himself." Which is bull, because his school's near DC, so yeah not the most awesome area! Something bad COULD happen, just because it's a school doesn't make it much safer than other places. So yeah, I was not a happy camper. He does floors again today, so I TOLD HIM, if he's going to be longer than 3:00 [rather than 2:30 since I know he needs time to clean] to call me. So let's hope he follows through with that.
Anyway, that's about all that's going on. I'm in a bit of a good mood atm, since Renee offered to drive Dustin again today, rather than him driving again. She gets better gas mileage, so that's why she offered. I asked him if she was going to drive everyday and he said he wasn't sure. That'd be super nice if she did, not that I expect that from her, I expected her to do every other day, so her offering 2 days in a row is way more than I expected. I think it would be a good idea for like...maybe her to drive phase 1 [first 3 months] and then Dustin can drive phase 2 [second 3 months] because at that point, Dustin will be borrowing his mom's car [she works near his school atm, but she's getting relocated to about 15 min. away from home, so she's gona switch cars with him, hers gets better mileage. But I'm sure they'll work it out. Every other day is nice too, that's what I think they should do. But, like I said, they'll work it out how they want. Anyway, I'm gonna go and talk to Dustin on his way to school since I'm able to :D!
So, yesterday...I got so mad at Dustin. He went to school, like normal, I got to text him the whole way, because he carpooled with Renee, a woman who I thought was in his class, but she's in the culinary class. That was really nice. So I decided to take a nap around mid-day, I guess it was like...11:20 or something like that when I started nodding off. And then Emily started texting me, I forget what time that was, around 12 maybe? I was texting her til about...I dunno, 1:00 I think, then I fell asleep. After that, I woke up around about 3:00. When I looked at the time, I was really confused and had to make sure I was reading it right. See, Dustin gets out of class at 2:30, and he got out basically right at 2:30 Monday and Tuesday. So this was when I was expecting him out, maybe a little after, since he did more today than the previous days. But 3:20 rolls around and I start to get worried, he's now rather late from getting outta class. Finally, I decide to text him. Because I also expected a text from him at some point throughout the day, because I told him to just check in with me on break. He texts me back and tells me he is just now getting ready to leave! I was mad! He told me it was because he had to do floors this week, and people who do floors leave last. But an extra 45 minutes or so AFTER class ended? Are you kidding? For one, that's rude to Renee [whom made me very happy this morning, Dustin was supposed to drive HER to school today since she did it yesterday, but she offered again, so I get to talk to Dustin on his way :D], because SHE has to wait for him since she's his ride. And also, well, it's not nice to me. I mean, I understand, he had to do floors, this was unavoidable. I also get the fact that because of this fact, he is NOT going to get out at 2:30, a little later obviously, but I would expect him to get out at like 2:50 or something like that. But the thing that made me most mad, was that he didn't SAY anything! He knew that he had to do floors, and I'd say it's common sense you'll get out a little late. So from the start he should have known to say something to me. But then, as time passed by 2:30, he should have DEF. said something to me. He kept saying he didn't realize time passed that far, but that's why he should have texted me or something to begin with. Then he tells me there's no service, or not much, which is why he didn't text me during the day. But I told him he should have excused himself to use the schools phone and CALL me! We ended up getting into a huge argument about it though, because I was worried about him, and he was telling me that it was dumb for me to worried because the worst, according to him, that could happen is that he "cuts/burns himself." Which is bull, because his school's near DC, so yeah not the most awesome area! Something bad COULD happen, just because it's a school doesn't make it much safer than other places. So yeah, I was not a happy camper. He does floors again today, so I TOLD HIM, if he's going to be longer than 3:00 [rather than 2:30 since I know he needs time to clean] to call me. So let's hope he follows through with that.
Anyway, that's about all that's going on. I'm in a bit of a good mood atm, since Renee offered to drive Dustin again today, rather than him driving again. She gets better gas mileage, so that's why she offered. I asked him if she was going to drive everyday and he said he wasn't sure. That'd be super nice if she did, not that I expect that from her, I expected her to do every other day, so her offering 2 days in a row is way more than I expected. I think it would be a good idea for like...maybe her to drive phase 1 [first 3 months] and then Dustin can drive phase 2 [second 3 months] because at that point, Dustin will be borrowing his mom's car [she works near his school atm, but she's getting relocated to about 15 min. away from home, so she's gona switch cars with him, hers gets better mileage. But I'm sure they'll work it out. Every other day is nice too, that's what I think they should do. But, like I said, they'll work it out how they want. Anyway, I'm gonna go and talk to Dustin on his way to school since I'm able to :D!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Meeehhh x_x
Well, so, okay...good news first! I've finally graduated from Von Lee. This means I'm now a professional certified make-up artist! It's really exciting to finally feel like my life is going somewhere and that it's going somewhere great! I should be applying to get a MAC Pro discount soon. Gives me a 40% discount on MAC products! As long as I can find the proper proof of professional status. I picked up an application the other day for Sephora in Towson Town Center. Ssssooooo, I should be working there, I hope anyway, after I turn in my app. But I might not then again, because it seems they want work experience. I hope that my lack of experience is less important than the fact that I'm a certified make-up artist! But yeah, that's what's going on job-wise and school-wise. Pretty great as far as I'm concerned I would have to say! And of course I've already got some freelancing jobs lined up [prom, wedding, etc.] so that's really comforting to know that these people have all wanted to hire me even before I graduated.
Unfortunately that's all for the good news the rest is sad news...well...bitter-sweet news I suppose would be the proper term, because it's not all bad I guess. Dustin, my fiance, started his pastry school yesterday. This is, of course, upsetting, because I have not been away from him for very long AT ALL, especially by myself. I've been living with him some time now, and the most we've really been apart is if he runs out to the store or something. And if we've ever been apart longer, I've usually been with someone else to keep me company and my mind off it. I think that's the problem. Yeah, I'm sad I'm without him, but what makes it worse is I'm sad without him AND alone. There's not much here to take my mind off him. I mean I have my dog, Elvis, and the other animals in the house, but that's nothing compared to him being here, or anyone being here really. But anyway, yes, he started. Yesterday was just orientation though. Only was there 10am-2:30pm. So he had to wake at 7:30am and then left at like 10 of 8 because he had to get gas and the place is and hour and 30 min away basically. He got home around 4ish. It was so great seeing him when he got home. I did fine most of the day though. I was a little sad when he left. But I sucked it up, kissed him goodbye and let him go. I watched t.v. and was online mostly. Finally around like 12pm, I decided to take a nap, to try and sleep away the last 4 hours until I was expecting him home, and oddly it worked. I didn't think it would. It was great to have him back, even though I was asleep for 4 of the hours he was gone.
But the news gets worse. Last night, we went to a friend's house cause she was having a bonfire. I knew full well we could only stay an hour, maybe a little more MAX. Because Dustin wanted to be in bed by 12ish, so that meant we had to leave about 11:30 because she lives ab 20 min away from Dustin's house. And we had gotten there at 10:30 as it was. But I didn't think we'd lose track of time. Dustin was reminding me of the time throughout the night. Not nagging, but just letting me know, and I was glad he did, because I was just too busy talking to think about it. BUT, then like, around, 11:45 I was like "oh okay we'll go in like a couple min. then, figuring it's not too bad, leaving a tad bit late. Well, then, we got to talking about her horse, and she let us go see him and we got SO caught up in petting her horse and stuff that we ENTIRELY lost track of time and didn't get outta there til sometime after 12. But I think it was before 12:30. I felt like CRAP! This meant Dustin was only going to get about 4 hours of sleep, since he wasn't getting in bed til 1. See, he had to wake at 5:00 today, because he needed to be out by 5:30. Class starts at 7am today. So I've been so upset, because it's basically my fault this has even happened. If I had just left when he was still reminding me of the time, it would have been better. I mean, I know he wouldn't have gotten that much more sleep, but, at least it wouldn't have been my fault, since he consented to go to her house, I made sure he didn't mind. But, he also woke up like a half hour early too, and was awake for about 20 min. in the middle of sleeping. So he only got like close to 3 hours.
So as you can tell I really feel like poo today. But see, a lot more than yesterday. Yesterday I was fine. Sure I was sad, but I sucked it up, and I survived, and I didn't cry. Today is a different story. I've been crying all morning and that's STUPID! I was crying while he was trying to get back to sleep earlier because i felt bad for keeping him up. I cried when he was eating "breakfast" and making tea. But none of that was ANYTHING compared to what happened when he left. I pretty much sucked it up while he was looking at me or in the room. I didn't want him to feel bad about going to school. I mean, he knew I was upset, but he didn't know I'd been crying or anything. But when he left, like probably as soon as he walked out the door, I just broke down and have NO CLUE why. I just don't get it, yesterday I was fine, today isn't that different, sure he's gone longer, but not THAT much longer, so there I was just irrationally bawling my eyes out. I was and still am feeling anxious and stressed this morning and I don't know why. I mean I'm sure part is because Dustin's gone, and part is cause I feel bad for keeping him up, but the way I was acting...it was like I wasn't gonna see him until like...tomorrow night or days or something like that! I felt so foolish, I still do, as I'm still finding it hard not to cry. I thought I was going to have a panic attack...or maybe I did, it's been a good bit of time since I've had a panic attack, so it's hard to recall. I've gone almost an entire year, panic attack free probably, or at least for the bad ones. But I think it surely felt like it. I mean I felt uncontrollable. I was bawling, I couldn't breathe. It was terrible. And it's STUPID STUPID STUPID! Because once again he's already been gone ONCE for several hours, and today ISN'T that much DIFFERENT! I feel like a big freaking baby. I kept telling myself I needed to pull it together, but it isn't working. My dog must think I'm insane. But he comforts me, and that's nice. It's like he knows when I'm sad and need him.
So yeah, I really think I have a lot of getting used to to do before I start feeling comfortable enough to stay home without Dustin being there for many hours and with no one else comforting me at all. I'm NOT used to that. I haven't been alone like that...in basically forever. I mean I've generally always had someone around me all the time. Except for select few times, and a lot of that was before I dated Dustin. Since I've been dating him, we've been inseparable. I think that's why I had a panic attack. I don't think yesterday totally sunk in for me that I'm going to have to be doing this every single day basically til he's all done. But this morning, it really did. And yesterday, I wasn't truly alone. Dustin's mom, and brother's were all home because it was Easter Monday. I mean, they weren't around me, but they were there, and I guess that was comfort enough. Today, his brothers go back to school, and I'm sure his mom and step-dad will go to work. The only people here will be his brother Tyler and Tyler's friends, which is NOT enough comfort, as none of us like each other or get along, not anymore anyway. So it's basically like he's not even here, him and his friends certainly do not count as optional company. But yeah, I think I'm just panicking because I'm totally on my own today, and, like I said, that's something I haven't done in a LONG time. Now I have to go around Dustin's house by myself if I want something, which is awkward. I mean, this has to happen eventually, we need to learn to be apart, but up until now we haven't. And I have a feeling a lot of people look down on me that I'm so upset about being apart. I know some people go much longer without seeing their lovers, and I'm sorry for that, but I am not one of those people. I just happened to be fortunate to be able to spend all this time with him. So before people start looking down on me and judging me about how I'm feeling, they need to let me get used to being apart from him.
Anyway, I think I'm gonna go do something. Ranting out a bit has helped some stress go away. But I'll probably be on edge most of the day, as I don't plan to sleep I don't think. I'm kinda punishing myself in a way for keeping Dustin up. He didn't get much sleep, so neither should I, since it's my fault. So I think I'm going to be very emotional today, I get like that with the less sleep I've had. I guarantee I'm gonna feel sick too. I get that way whenever I don't sleep enough, I start feeling nauseous. But, oh well, I don't wanna sleep, I'd feel guilty for it. Birds have started chirping anyway...they're so annoying....
Unfortunately that's all for the good news the rest is sad news...well...bitter-sweet news I suppose would be the proper term, because it's not all bad I guess. Dustin, my fiance, started his pastry school yesterday. This is, of course, upsetting, because I have not been away from him for very long AT ALL, especially by myself. I've been living with him some time now, and the most we've really been apart is if he runs out to the store or something. And if we've ever been apart longer, I've usually been with someone else to keep me company and my mind off it. I think that's the problem. Yeah, I'm sad I'm without him, but what makes it worse is I'm sad without him AND alone. There's not much here to take my mind off him. I mean I have my dog, Elvis, and the other animals in the house, but that's nothing compared to him being here, or anyone being here really. But anyway, yes, he started. Yesterday was just orientation though. Only was there 10am-2:30pm. So he had to wake at 7:30am and then left at like 10 of 8 because he had to get gas and the place is and hour and 30 min away basically. He got home around 4ish. It was so great seeing him when he got home. I did fine most of the day though. I was a little sad when he left. But I sucked it up, kissed him goodbye and let him go. I watched t.v. and was online mostly. Finally around like 12pm, I decided to take a nap, to try and sleep away the last 4 hours until I was expecting him home, and oddly it worked. I didn't think it would. It was great to have him back, even though I was asleep for 4 of the hours he was gone.
But the news gets worse. Last night, we went to a friend's house cause she was having a bonfire. I knew full well we could only stay an hour, maybe a little more MAX. Because Dustin wanted to be in bed by 12ish, so that meant we had to leave about 11:30 because she lives ab 20 min away from Dustin's house. And we had gotten there at 10:30 as it was. But I didn't think we'd lose track of time. Dustin was reminding me of the time throughout the night. Not nagging, but just letting me know, and I was glad he did, because I was just too busy talking to think about it. BUT, then like, around, 11:45 I was like "oh okay we'll go in like a couple min. then, figuring it's not too bad, leaving a tad bit late. Well, then, we got to talking about her horse, and she let us go see him and we got SO caught up in petting her horse and stuff that we ENTIRELY lost track of time and didn't get outta there til sometime after 12. But I think it was before 12:30. I felt like CRAP! This meant Dustin was only going to get about 4 hours of sleep, since he wasn't getting in bed til 1. See, he had to wake at 5:00 today, because he needed to be out by 5:30. Class starts at 7am today. So I've been so upset, because it's basically my fault this has even happened. If I had just left when he was still reminding me of the time, it would have been better. I mean, I know he wouldn't have gotten that much more sleep, but, at least it wouldn't have been my fault, since he consented to go to her house, I made sure he didn't mind. But, he also woke up like a half hour early too, and was awake for about 20 min. in the middle of sleeping. So he only got like close to 3 hours.
So as you can tell I really feel like poo today. But see, a lot more than yesterday. Yesterday I was fine. Sure I was sad, but I sucked it up, and I survived, and I didn't cry. Today is a different story. I've been crying all morning and that's STUPID! I was crying while he was trying to get back to sleep earlier because i felt bad for keeping him up. I cried when he was eating "breakfast" and making tea. But none of that was ANYTHING compared to what happened when he left. I pretty much sucked it up while he was looking at me or in the room. I didn't want him to feel bad about going to school. I mean, he knew I was upset, but he didn't know I'd been crying or anything. But when he left, like probably as soon as he walked out the door, I just broke down and have NO CLUE why. I just don't get it, yesterday I was fine, today isn't that different, sure he's gone longer, but not THAT much longer, so there I was just irrationally bawling my eyes out. I was and still am feeling anxious and stressed this morning and I don't know why. I mean I'm sure part is because Dustin's gone, and part is cause I feel bad for keeping him up, but the way I was acting...it was like I wasn't gonna see him until like...tomorrow night or days or something like that! I felt so foolish, I still do, as I'm still finding it hard not to cry. I thought I was going to have a panic attack...or maybe I did, it's been a good bit of time since I've had a panic attack, so it's hard to recall. I've gone almost an entire year, panic attack free probably, or at least for the bad ones. But I think it surely felt like it. I mean I felt uncontrollable. I was bawling, I couldn't breathe. It was terrible. And it's STUPID STUPID STUPID! Because once again he's already been gone ONCE for several hours, and today ISN'T that much DIFFERENT! I feel like a big freaking baby. I kept telling myself I needed to pull it together, but it isn't working. My dog must think I'm insane. But he comforts me, and that's nice. It's like he knows when I'm sad and need him.
So yeah, I really think I have a lot of getting used to to do before I start feeling comfortable enough to stay home without Dustin being there for many hours and with no one else comforting me at all. I'm NOT used to that. I haven't been alone like that...in basically forever. I mean I've generally always had someone around me all the time. Except for select few times, and a lot of that was before I dated Dustin. Since I've been dating him, we've been inseparable. I think that's why I had a panic attack. I don't think yesterday totally sunk in for me that I'm going to have to be doing this every single day basically til he's all done. But this morning, it really did. And yesterday, I wasn't truly alone. Dustin's mom, and brother's were all home because it was Easter Monday. I mean, they weren't around me, but they were there, and I guess that was comfort enough. Today, his brothers go back to school, and I'm sure his mom and step-dad will go to work. The only people here will be his brother Tyler and Tyler's friends, which is NOT enough comfort, as none of us like each other or get along, not anymore anyway. So it's basically like he's not even here, him and his friends certainly do not count as optional company. But yeah, I think I'm just panicking because I'm totally on my own today, and, like I said, that's something I haven't done in a LONG time. Now I have to go around Dustin's house by myself if I want something, which is awkward. I mean, this has to happen eventually, we need to learn to be apart, but up until now we haven't. And I have a feeling a lot of people look down on me that I'm so upset about being apart. I know some people go much longer without seeing their lovers, and I'm sorry for that, but I am not one of those people. I just happened to be fortunate to be able to spend all this time with him. So before people start looking down on me and judging me about how I'm feeling, they need to let me get used to being apart from him.
Anyway, I think I'm gonna go do something. Ranting out a bit has helped some stress go away. But I'll probably be on edge most of the day, as I don't plan to sleep I don't think. I'm kinda punishing myself in a way for keeping Dustin up. He didn't get much sleep, so neither should I, since it's my fault. So I think I'm going to be very emotional today, I get like that with the less sleep I've had. I guarantee I'm gonna feel sick too. I get that way whenever I don't sleep enough, I start feeling nauseous. But, oh well, I don't wanna sleep, I'd feel guilty for it. Birds have started chirping anyway...they're so annoying....
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