An uneventful day...

Today has been rather boring and uneventful, hence this posting. Getting pretty excited for Dustin lately. This is his second to last week of his phase 1 pastry training! These 3 months FLEW by! It's much appreciated too, the faster it flies, to sooner he graduates completely in April! But that's miles away still. But at least he will be out of actual school in September basically and will be doing his externship! It'll be so exciting when he's finally making money! And because he gets to pick where his externship will be [as long as they are mostly a scratch bakery and they will accept him] he will be able to be MUCH closer to home than the almost 2 hours he is away from home while at school! He will only have to return to school about 3 times in the whole 6 months of the externship for lectures and stuff. He's thinking about going to work at either Starry Night Bakery or Snickerdoodles. SN is in Westminster, approximately 15 minutes from home. They're an amazing Bakery and coffee house. It's so neat and relaxing in there, and they make the BEST cupcakes ever. I've also had THREE special occasion cakes done by them which I loved: 16th birthday, and then 2 engagement party cakes! And as for Snickerdoodles, which more and more I feel is the better option, is in Hampstead. This location is 5 or 10 minutes from home, and in a prime location. It's on main street so that obviously generates a lot of business for them and they may be able to pay more. Also, they're right next to Rita's AND J&P Pizza, 2 very popular stops, and Snickerdoodles is sandwiched right in between. So that can also generate more business!

This week is going to suck. Dustin's got school ALL week. Meaning until Friday, his usual day off! It sucks so bad. I mean, I know it's just one day, but still, you know? Friday nights are the nights we tend to go out and do stuff and stay up late together. But since he'll have been at school all day, he wont wanna stay up late because he'll be pooped. It sucks a lot, nothing he can do about it, but it's still dumb.

I'm just sitting here bored now, while Dustin sits here and sleeps. I'm munching on some very yummy Fisher's caramel popcorn my mom picked up for me and Dustin from Ocean City this weekend [so mad she didn't take me!] and I see two glowing eyes staring at me in the darkness. Creepy right? Elvis feels the need to beg of course, and he's got black fur, so all I see are his eyes in this darkness lol. I just about had a mini heart attack a second ago, went to grab my tea and almost knocked it over! Would have made a loud noise and/or huge mess! Huge mess that I wouldn't be able to clean up in this darkness. So if the loud noise didn't wake Dustin, I would have to wake him anyway!

That's enough for now. Man this blog is so boring. I'm starting a new one soon, one I can actually maybe make money off of. For makeup. So hopefully I can get that up and going soon!

Insanely slow day...

So this day has been SO SLOW. I haven't posted here in a while, but I have nothing else to do right now. Dustin should be leaving school relatively soon, so that's nice, but it's gone so slow. I've got my dog Beckett here, he was visiting for the weekend, but he leaves this afternoon to go back to my mom's. I'm gonna miss him, even if it is a bit more stressful to have him here. But he's been really good all weekend, so I'll be glad to hopefully have him back for another weekend sometime soon.

I am really just counting down the days for this week to be OVER. For one, I just want the weekend. But also, the Gamber carnival starts this weekend! So happy it's once again carnival season. I don't really have much money, but i don't care, I love carnivals way too much not to go! And also, Monday is a holiday, so Dustin gets off of school! But unfortunately will have school Friday because of it I think -.-; ugh. But hey, it'll be a nice, long weekend.

So, in 2 weeks, I'm supposed to be going to this seminar with a friend. It's this seminar with a makeup artist, and I think it would be really good for me. But it's going to cost me $59! Now, since my mom's been paying me $35 a week to clean her house once a week, that normally wouldn't be a problem. But see, Otakon is also coming up. Now, that isn't til the end of July. But I have to get my tickets by June 18th, otherwise I'll have to pay $75 instead of $65. Most people would probably tell me to go to the seminar, since Otakon happens every year. But, I don't know if I'll get a better deal another year! A friend offered us a spot in their hotel room. It's in the Hilton, attached to the convention center. We'll get one of the beds in there and everything. And we only have to pay like $150 for the whole weekend! Even though they paid over $1000 or something for the freaking room. And she even offered to pay for our parking. Because these 2 events are so close to each other it makes it really hard to save. If I go to the seminar, I KNOW i wont have the money for Otakon! Not in time anyway. I mean I'm sure my friend would understand if I said I couldn't come up with the money, but, still I feel bad. Cause she asked me to go like a couple weeks ago or something. Because right now, I have about, eh, let's say $40. That means I need about $20 to give her the money, so this Friday, I'd get $35 more bucks, and be left with $15 if I pay her the money. I would then only have like $85 by the time I need the money in for Otakon, well, $120 if I wait til the EXACT date pre-reg. ends, and I need $130. If I DON'T go to the seminar, I wont have to wait until June 18th to pay, I can pay a week ahead of time. It's a difficult decision to make. Dustin also had $40 he could use to help out, maybe to pay for his Otakon ticket, but that's his money. I mean I know it's his ticket, but, he doesn't even really care about Otakon, so I feel like I should be paying his ticket, since he wouldn't even go if not for me.

Baahhh I dunno, I have lots of thinking to do. I could always ask my dad for the money, but I don't really wanna since right now he's saving for airline tickets for me and Dustin to visit this summer. And I already plan to ask him for the $150 for the hotel, since that's how much he normally puts on my card anyway. Bleh, but Dustin's leaving school now, so that's nice. I'm gonna go talk to Dustin :D!

Blarrrrgggg...

Man, this weekend really passed WAY too fast! It really kinda upsets me that it's already Sunday. Last weekend, the weekend seemed to last out rather nicely. Yeah, it's not so much for this weekend. It feels like Dustin has just gotten home from school on Thursday! Didn't even do that much this weekend either, which is one of the sad parts.

Friday, me, Dustin, and Ryan all went to go see Grease at WMHS, our former HS, and Ryan's current one. It was a very good play production. The events leading up to it sucked though! First of all, it started storming HARD when we started getting ready. It was extremely windy and raining very hard and thundering. But a little before we left it stopped, the sun even tried peeping through. That made me happier. BUT of course luck would have it, just before we left, the storm popped back up again! Ugh it was not cool. Then, as we were leaving, Elvis got out of the house and BOLTED, he had his harness on luckily, in case he got lost. But THEN Bella got out too and bolted after him! So Dustin and Ryan had to chase the two down a few houses down across the street. Then we were finally able to get there. We were able to get tickets, thankfully, any later and it woulda been sold out. And we were also lucky enough to find 3 seats together, that was good. And then the play was great.

Saturday, we did nothing, I think. We literally did NOTHING. All we did, was sleep...all...day...long. We went to sleep and got like 6 hrs. of sleep the night before. And then we woke up at like 6am and stayed up. But went back to sleep around 10ish til 3ish. And then woke up for a little while. I was tired so i took ANOTHER nap, while Dustin watched t.v. But at some point I was RUDELY awakened by Ryan playing the drums, and he played them for over an hour straight! It was ridiculous and he KNEW i was taking a nap. I was pissed. Eventually I got up and we watched t.v. and played some LBP i think? And then we ended up falling asleep at some point til like 2am.

Today, we've been up since we woke at 2am I think. So tired right now. But around noon, we went and met my mom, she gave me $20 to get some dye for my hair. So I went and got 2 boxes of lightener and a box of red dye. That's what I'm working on right now. The first round of lightener wasn't so great. It did the roots mostly and the rest was an orangey red. And then some spots didn't seem to lighten at all! It pissed me off. So I went to rinse, and go figure, NO HOT WATER! UGHHHH!!! So I had to rinse the bleach with cold water, after I conditioned it, i rinsed it partially with some water Dustin boiled and then finished with cold water. Then I dried it. Now, I'm sitting here with round two of lightener in my hair. If this doesn't work, I'm practically screwwwedddd. And I will have to put the red in, as i dont have any other bottles of lightener. Meh. So idk how this will go. I rinse it in about a half hour. So exhausted right now though. Been working on this since like 1:00pm. So that's what, 3 and a half hrs? Mejhfnkjafwfjkwa. Gonna relax til its done sitting? :/

Eh...

Well, this week is almost over, for Dustin anyway, it's his last day for the week, so that's awesome. This week actually wasn't too bad to be perfectly honest. I mean, there were some bad times, of course. But I mean it was good in terms of how fast it went. It wasn't really that slow at all tbh. I actually cannot believe it's Thursday, it's kinda surprising too me. But of course, that's a good thing! The sooner I can spend time with my love! But, there's bad news. The woman, Renee, that he carpooled with, decided she didn't wanna carpool anymore. Here's the story...

So Tuesday, Dustin gets up and outta the house at normal time to arrive at the park and ride, where he meets Renee every morning. He got there around 5:45, the normal time he gets there each morning. He called me, and was like "umm she isn't here..." and I asked if he had called her, and he did once, she didn't answer. So I told him to hang up with me, and keep trying her. I told him if she wasn't there by 6, he needed to get outta there. So he only called her one more time, no answer, he called me back, and took off alone to school. I was beyond pissed off. Because it's like, okay, if you're not gonna be there, call at least! Now Dustin, on the verge of being late to class, is extremely confused. He told me that Monday evening, on their way home, Renee told him she wasn't sure anymore about this whole carpooling thing. Because each day they've carpooled, Dustin's class got out a little later than hers, and she wanted to be home to her daughter. But that was kinda like wtf, because she's only arriving a half hour later to her daughter than if she wasnt carpooling. She was like "you'd be the same way if you wanted to get home to something and has to wait for me." And i was like EXCUSE ME?! Because he DOES have something he wants to get home to...ME! He wants to be home with me JUST as much, but he'd wait for her, and I'd understand, because carpooling is better than him driving the whole time everyday! But Dustin told me that she never right out said "I don't wanna carpool" she just was questioning it. That's what I woulda thought too! So finally, as Dustin and I were talking, Renee calls and he answers. She apparently was like "oh, I thought you understood it wasn't going to work out?" With Dustin you've got to be black and white, no gray area! He's a guy! Apparently she felt bad, well she better! She made him almost late! The poor guy had to rush all the way to school, speeding the entire way, and he even had to change in the car. He got in RIGHT at 7. But yeah, so he isn't carpooling anymore. That sucks, cause his car has terrible gas mileage. It wont be too bad once his mom finds a replacement for herself at her current job, as she's being relocated to an area about 15 min from home.Then he gets to use her car. But yeah, that's the story on that. I can't text him anymore, but we talk on the phone part of his ride there.

Yesterday was kinda bleh. I mean, it wasn't too bad, it was just...tiring, I guess. I didn't get to sleep at the time I normally do, which is 8ish. I think I finally went to go lie down after Dustin called me on his break around like 10:30. Until then I had talked to my friend Vicky, so it wasn't bad. I slept mostly the whole time, except for when Dustin called me around 12 when he had lunch. And then he called at 2:30 when he left, and we talked part of his way home. I got in the shower before he got home because I wanted to take a walk with him, Elvis, and Bella when he got here. But as soon as he got home, his step-dad called to remind him about an eye doctor appointment he had. Something we both forgot about, ugh. That was at 5:30, the appt. that is. So we only really had a half hour at most for the walk. After we headed to the eye doctor, we were there for an hour and a half! Dustin needed his exam, new contacts, and a fitting for new glasses. The same for his mom. Urrrggg. It was SO boring! Then we had to run to Giant, for Dustin to pick up the ingredients he needed for this lemon tart thing he's gonna make for us this weekend. Then finally we got to head home. As soon as we were there, Dustin got started on the shell of the tart, as it needs to sit in the fridge for some hours. Although it was almost all for nothing, because he forgot he needed to make the lemon filling and let that sit for some hours too. But once he finished the shell, he got started on making some dinner. At Giant, we got to sample this pancake batter fried chicken, it was soooo good! So that's what he made for dinner. He was at that for like...an hour or more! By the time he was done, it was almost 10. That really upset me, because it was almost bed time, Dustin goes to bed at 10 every night! I was really sad. But Dustin told me he would stay up til 11. So we ate our food then spent the rest of the night watching t.v. together. I was super tired, so I went to bed like 15 min. after Dustin and slept through the whole night til his alarm at 4:30! That was unusual for me! I never sleep the whole time. So it was NICE! I'm SO TIRED STILL though!

This morning went really fast, I hope that means the rest of the day will go fast too. That would be great, if so. See, Dustin gets out of class early today! Yesterday and today they've been having sanitation training, they have to take this class every so often to renew their certification. Today, after they finish the rest of their training, they have an exam. The instructor said it would take place around 1pm and it takes most people about a half hour to take. Dustin said it's about 80 questions, but it's allll multiple choice! So hopefully that's all the time it'll take him, because then he'll get out of class an hour early! He said he's pretty sure the instructor said they're allowed to leave after the test. So that will be REALLY nice. The morning's going by really fast so far, even after Dustin left. It feels like he just left, yet it's already close to time that I usually take my nap! And I probably will be taking that nap today. Sooo tired right now. Wanna be rested when Dustin gets home, that way, we can possibly go for a walk again today. A better walk this time, since it's gonna be SUPER nice today! Even nicer than yesterday. Hopefully there's a bit of a breeze, because there wasn't really yesterday and it was borderline hot out, and it was only 65ish! Today it's gona be more like 75. Spring is so great after such a harsh winter :] isn't it? I have a good feeling about today, I really do. I just hope it goes as planned. I shouldn't get my hopes up. But it sounds like it should be a nice day. It's going by quick so far, I'm tired so a nap will make it go even quicker! With my luck though...I wont be able to sleep, for whatever reason! BAH! Anyway, gonna go watch pokemon, then probs take a nap!

Back to reality...

Yep, it's back to reality now. The weekend I got to spend with Dustin is over and now it's Monday again, that means back to school for him, unfortunately. But this weekend kinda sucked. I mean, I got to spend it with Dustin, but everything else sucked, practically. Spending it with Dustin was pretty much good enough, it just would have been nice to spend a really nice and fun and entertaining weekend with him.

Friday wasn't so bad I guess. We stayed up SUPER late together and then slept in really late. But then we were awoken by a text Dustin got from a friend of ours. That had a picture in it of our friends youngest brother trying to choke their mother and they asked us to come over and help. So we got ready and headed over there. But everything was finished with by the time they got there, because luckily another friend was closer and able to get there sooner. But it was okay, because we hadn't been to their house in a long time and we wanted to spend some time over there with them. But we weren't too excited because there were A LOT of people there and quite a few were gonna be drinking all night. Carl, Kat, Kat's 2 friends, Matt, and Liam were all in the basement drinking. Then Miss Sue, Danny, Mike, George, Andy, Rachel, me and Dustin were all upstairs. It wasn't bad though, it was pretty fun, we just all laughed and talked. But then it went sour. Mike and George went outside while George smoked, and while they were out there, they smelled pot, really strongly. So they found out the people drinking were outback now smoking pot. Mike hates pot, so he got REALLY pissed and sat outside alone for a while, then he came in and went straight to bed :/ it sucked.

Saturday, Shawn was supposed to come over and have a look at my laptop sometime before 5. It's having some booting up issues atm. So, since Dustin and I stayed up really late, cause I was feeling sick all night, we set an alarm for 3 and that's when I was gonna get a hold of Shawn to come over. But 3 rolled around and Dustin and I couldn't stay awake, so we fell back asleep and woke up around, well, I forget when, but it was still before 5, but I messaged Shawn and just told him we'll see about doing it Sunday instead. Then we started getting ready for trivia at like...5:30-6 since it was at Belisimo's at 7. That sucked because I wasn't feeling well, still. But we get there, and we have to sit at the end of the table while the rest of the family is all bunched together at the other end, so we were practically excluded. Which is stupid, because they keep saying how "vital" we are to the team, yet David [age 10] and Skylar [age 9] were sitting up with the main group, and they don't know ANYTHING! They're just kids for goodness sakes! They cannot help with any of the trivia, trust me, we've been doing trivia for some time now, and they've practically been nothing but an annoyance, well, David was, Skylar wasn't bad, but he's still a bump on a log. So I was a little upset about that. But also I was feeling crappy while we were there the whole time and our team was doing shitty too. But I started to feel better about midway through and ordered some food for myself and had a bit of fun. We still did shitty though.

We stayed up late again Saturday and slept in late on Sunday. Dustin was supposed to make pastries Sunday, but he kinda piddled away the weekend and didn't tell his mom to get the ingredients, so he couldn't do that. Also, Shawn was supposed to come over, we were supposed to do laundry, and we were supposed to clean the room. Well, I texted Shawn around 5:30 because we slept in really late. I didn't get any reply from him. As it got later and later I realized it was safe to assume he wasn't coming. So I sent him a FB message and he replied saying his car's messed up til Monday. So idk if that means he can drive Monday, or if it's getting fixed Monday and he can't drive til Tuesday or later in the week. But I told him to let me know. We also didn't even get to do laundry OR clean! Dustin had mentioned laundry and asked if he should do it, and I shrugged, and somehow it never got done. So Sunday was rather unproductive. We had tacos for dinner though, that was nice. And we all played Mad Gab. I thought the night would end nicely, until I found out someone took one of my grapefruit cups. I pissed me off mostly because it had my NAME ON THE BOX! It's right on the top, like, you couldn't miss it with the way you have to open the box! We found out it was Dustin's step brother David. Which doesn't surprise me, because he frequently takes our food and eats it even with our names on it, because the kid cannot stop eating, even if it means eating someone elses food. So I was PISSED! I had Dustin talk to his mom about a cheap mini fridge since our food rather frequently gets eaten by David and probably Tyler and his friends. She seemed pretty open to the idea, so that's good. I'm still mad though and plan to talk to David when he's here Weds. Also found out today that the "no food in your room" rule was changed. Dustin's mom told everyone except us, that they could eat in their rooms as long as they clean it up. She said we'd never leave our room apparently. But whatever, we know about the rule now, so that's pretty nice.

So yeah, now Dustin's off to school. Well he was a half hour ago. And I get to text him again, Renee is luckily driving again. But only because Dustin didn't have the chance to get gas probably. That's another thing we were supposed to do Sunday, and we were supposed to stop by Mikes again too I just remembered, because we were gona stop by Sat. but didn't. -Sigh- but yeah, it sucks having been with him 3 days straight and now he's gone again. Bleh. But I should hopefully be okay. I have my Niacinamide pill to take, which I'll take arounf 7, when he gets to school. I cut it in half this time though. They're too huge to swallow. But uh, yeah, so I'm gona go back to watching t.v. and texting him for now :D!

Doing Better...

Been doing pretty good lately with Dustin being gone now. It hasn't been long since the anxiety attack, but I did good on Wednesday, and I'm doing good today so far. I was really proud of myself yesterday, no medicine and I was fine. Then again, Dustin's mom and his youngest brother were home all day long, because his mom took his brother to the doc. and turned out he had strep >..
So, yesterday...I got so mad at Dustin. He went to school, like normal, I got to text him the whole way, because he carpooled with Renee, a woman who I thought was in his class, but she's in the culinary class. That was really nice. So I decided to take a nap around mid-day, I guess it was like...11:20 or something like that when I started nodding off. And then Emily started texting me, I forget what time that was, around 12 maybe? I was texting her til about...I dunno, 1:00 I think, then I fell asleep. After that, I woke up around about 3:00. When I looked at the time, I was really confused and had to make sure I was reading it right. See, Dustin gets out of class at 2:30, and he got out basically right at 2:30 Monday and Tuesday. So this was when I was expecting him out, maybe a little after, since he did more today than the previous days. But 3:20 rolls around and I start to get worried, he's now rather late from getting outta class. Finally, I decide to text him. Because I also expected a text from him at some point throughout the day, because I told him to just check in with me on break. He texts me back and tells me he is just now getting ready to leave! I was mad! He told me it was because he had to do floors this week, and people who do floors leave last. But an extra 45 minutes or so AFTER class ended? Are you kidding? For one, that's rude to Renee [whom made me very happy this morning, Dustin was supposed to drive HER to school today since she did it yesterday, but she offered again, so I get to talk to Dustin on his way :D], because SHE has to wait for him since she's his ride. And also, well, it's not nice to me. I mean, I understand, he had to do floors, this was unavoidable. I also get the fact that because of this fact, he is NOT going to get out at 2:30, a little later obviously, but I would expect him to get out at like 2:50 or something like that. But the thing that made me most mad, was that he didn't SAY anything! He knew that he had to do floors, and I'd say it's common sense you'll get out a little late. So from the start he should have known to say something to me. But then, as time passed by 2:30, he should have DEF. said something to me. He kept saying he didn't realize time passed that far, but that's why he should have texted me or something to begin with. Then he tells me there's no service, or not much, which is why he didn't text me during the day. But I told him he should have excused himself to use the schools phone and CALL me! We ended up getting into a huge argument about it though, because I was worried about him, and he was telling me that it was dumb for me to worried because the worst, according to him, that could happen is that he "cuts/burns himself." Which is bull, because his school's near DC, so yeah not the most awesome area! Something bad COULD happen, just because it's a school doesn't make it much safer than other places. So yeah, I was not a happy camper. He does floors again today, so I TOLD HIM, if he's going to be longer than 3:00 [rather than 2:30 since I know he needs time to clean] to call me. So let's hope he follows through with that.

Anyway, that's about all that's going on. I'm in a bit of a good mood atm, since Renee offered to drive Dustin again today, rather than him driving again. She gets better gas mileage, so that's why she offered. I asked him if she was going to drive everyday and he said he wasn't sure. That'd be super nice if she did, not that I expect that from her, I expected her to do every other day, so her offering 2 days in a row is way more than I expected. I think it would be a good idea for like...maybe her to drive phase 1 [first 3 months] and then Dustin can drive phase 2 [second 3 months] because at that point, Dustin will be borrowing his mom's car [she works near his school atm, but she's getting relocated to about 15 min. away from home, so she's gona switch cars with him, hers gets better mileage. But I'm sure they'll work it out. Every other day is nice too, that's what I think they should do. But, like I said, they'll work it out how they want. Anyway, I'm gonna go and talk to Dustin on his way to school since I'm able to :D!

Meeehhh x_x

Well, so, okay...good news first! I've finally graduated from Von Lee. This means I'm now a professional certified make-up artist! It's really exciting to finally feel like my life is going somewhere and that it's going somewhere great! I should be applying to get a MAC Pro discount soon. Gives me a 40% discount on MAC products! As long as I can find the proper proof of professional status. I picked up an application the other day for Sephora in Towson Town Center. Ssssooooo, I should be working there, I hope anyway, after I turn in my app. But I might not then again, because it seems they want work experience. I hope that my lack of experience is less important than the fact that I'm a certified make-up artist! But yeah, that's what's going on job-wise and school-wise. Pretty great as far as I'm concerned I would have to say! And of course I've already got some freelancing jobs lined up [prom, wedding, etc.] so that's really comforting to know that these people have all wanted to hire me even before I graduated.

Unfortunately that's all for the good news the rest is sad news...well...bitter-sweet news I suppose would be the proper term, because it's not all bad I guess. Dustin, my fiance, started his pastry school yesterday. This is, of course, upsetting, because I have not been away from him for very long AT ALL, especially by myself. I've been living with him some time now, and the most we've really been apart is if he runs out to the store or something. And if we've ever been apart longer, I've usually been with someone else to keep me company and my mind off it. I think that's the problem. Yeah, I'm sad I'm without him, but what makes it worse is I'm sad without him AND alone. There's not much here to take my mind off him. I mean I have my dog, Elvis, and the other animals in the house, but that's nothing compared to him being here, or anyone being here really. But anyway, yes, he started. Yesterday was just orientation though. Only was there 10am-2:30pm. So he had to wake at 7:30am and then left at like 10 of 8 because he had to get gas and the place is and hour and 30 min away basically. He got home around 4ish. It was so great seeing him when he got home. I did fine most of the day though. I was a little sad when he left. But I sucked it up, kissed him goodbye and let him go. I watched t.v. and was online mostly. Finally around like 12pm, I decided to take a nap, to try and sleep away the last 4 hours until I was expecting him home, and oddly it worked. I didn't think it would. It was great to have him back, even though I was asleep for 4 of the hours he was gone.

But the news gets worse. Last night, we went to a friend's house cause she was having a bonfire. I knew full well we could only stay an hour, maybe a little more MAX. Because Dustin wanted to be in bed by 12ish, so that meant we had to leave about 11:30 because she lives ab 20 min away from Dustin's house. And we had gotten there at 10:30 as it was. But I didn't think we'd lose track of time. Dustin was reminding me of the time throughout the night. Not nagging, but just letting me know, and I was glad he did, because I was just too busy talking to think about it. BUT, then like, around, 11:45 I was like "oh okay we'll go in like a couple min. then, figuring it's not too bad, leaving a tad bit late. Well, then, we got to talking about her horse, and she let us go see him and we got SO caught up in petting her horse and stuff that we ENTIRELY lost track of time and didn't get outta there til sometime after 12. But I think it was before 12:30. I felt like CRAP! This meant Dustin was only going to get about 4 hours of sleep, since he wasn't getting in bed til 1. See, he had to wake at 5:00 today, because he needed to be out by 5:30. Class starts at 7am today. So I've been so upset, because it's basically my fault this has even happened. If I had just left when he was still reminding me of the time, it would have been better. I mean, I know he wouldn't have gotten that much more sleep, but, at least it wouldn't have been my fault, since he consented to go to her house, I made sure he didn't mind. But, he also woke up like a half hour early too, and was awake for about 20 min. in the middle of sleeping. So he only got like close to 3 hours.

So as you can tell I really feel like poo today. But see, a lot more than yesterday. Yesterday I was fine. Sure I was sad, but I sucked it up, and I survived, and I didn't cry. Today is a different story. I've been crying all morning and that's STUPID! I was crying while he was trying to get back to sleep earlier because i felt bad for keeping him up. I cried when he was eating "breakfast" and making tea. But none of that was ANYTHING compared to what happened when he left. I pretty much sucked it up while he was looking at me or in the room. I didn't want him to feel bad about going to school. I mean, he knew I was upset, but he didn't know I'd been crying or anything. But when he left, like probably as soon as he walked out the door, I just broke down and have NO CLUE why. I just don't get it, yesterday I was fine, today isn't that different, sure he's gone longer, but not THAT much longer, so there I was just irrationally bawling my eyes out. I was and still am feeling anxious and stressed this morning and I don't know why. I mean I'm sure part is because Dustin's gone, and part is cause I feel bad for keeping him up, but the way I was acting...it was like I wasn't gonna see him until like...tomorrow night or days or something like that! I felt so foolish, I still do, as I'm still finding it hard not to cry. I thought I was going to have a panic attack...or maybe I did, it's been a good bit of time since I've had a panic attack, so it's hard to recall. I've gone almost an entire year, panic attack free probably, or at least for the bad ones. But I think it surely felt like it. I mean I felt uncontrollable. I was bawling, I couldn't breathe. It was terrible. And it's STUPID STUPID STUPID! Because once again he's already been gone ONCE for several hours, and today ISN'T that much DIFFERENT! I feel like a big freaking baby. I kept telling myself I needed to pull it together, but it isn't working. My dog must think I'm insane. But he comforts me, and that's nice. It's like he knows when I'm sad and need him.

So yeah, I really think I have a lot of getting used to to do before I start feeling comfortable enough to stay home without Dustin being there for many hours and with no one else comforting me at all. I'm NOT used to that. I haven't been alone like that...in basically forever. I mean I've generally always had someone around me all the time. Except for select few times, and a lot of that was before I dated Dustin. Since I've been dating him, we've been inseparable. I think that's why I had a panic attack. I don't think yesterday totally sunk in for me that I'm going to have to be doing this every single day basically til he's all done. But this morning, it really did. And yesterday, I wasn't truly alone. Dustin's mom, and brother's were all home because it was Easter Monday. I mean, they weren't around me, but they were there, and I guess that was comfort enough. Today, his brothers go back to school, and I'm sure his mom and step-dad will go to work. The only people here will be his brother Tyler and Tyler's friends, which is NOT enough comfort, as none of us like each other or get along, not anymore anyway. So it's basically like he's not even here, him and his friends certainly do not count as optional company. But yeah, I think I'm just panicking because I'm totally on my own today, and, like I said, that's something I haven't done in a LONG time. Now I have to go around Dustin's house by myself if I want something, which is awkward. I mean, this has to happen eventually, we need to learn to be apart, but up until now we haven't. And I have a feeling a lot of people look down on me that I'm so upset about being apart. I know some people go much longer without seeing their lovers, and I'm sorry for that, but I am not one of those people. I just happened to be fortunate to be able to spend all this time with him. So before people start looking down on me and judging me about how I'm feeling, they need to let me get used to being apart from him.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna go do something. Ranting out a bit has helped some stress go away. But I'll probably be on edge most of the day, as I don't plan to sleep I don't think. I'm kinda punishing myself in a way for keeping Dustin up. He didn't get much sleep, so neither should I, since it's my fault. So I think I'm going to be very emotional today, I get like that with the less sleep I've had. I guarantee I'm gonna feel sick too. I get that way whenever I don't sleep enough, I start feeling nauseous. But, oh well, I don't wanna sleep, I'd feel guilty for it. Birds have started chirping anyway...they're so annoying....

Boredom Takes Over...

So I'm pretty much just super bored and have nothing to do. It's a weeknight, so pretty much all my friends have gone to bed because they have either work or school tomorrow. So there isn't anyone to talk to. I mean, I have school tomorrow, but I don't have it til night time, so staying up late isn't a big deal. But tonight, I don't want to stay up too late. I have to get up no later than 2:00pm [and I could very well sleep in that late, depending on when I go to bed]. I gotta then be ready by 2:30 and get out the door to head to Best Western, becauuuuuuseeeee I'M PICKING UP MY BABY SUGAR GLIDER! I've been waiting for her for like 3 or 4 weeks now! I can't believe it's already time for me to have her! Initially, I thought we were going to have to wait another whole week before I was gonna get her, because Terri, Dustin's mom's friend, is getting 2 sugar gliders from the same company. She called to pester them about the date they would be ready because she wanted to be sure to take off work that day and everything. Well they told her March 30th was going to be the date that they would come back to Westminster, which was about the date that me and everyone else predicted from the start. But on Friday, or maybe Saturday, I think it was Saturday, I got an e-mail from the company, stating that the babies were ready to be picked up on the 23rd at this Best Western that's in Westminster. They had appointment times we had to sign up for, so I went to the site ASAP, because I wanted as early as I could get, because unfortunately, I have class tonight, and Dustin goes with me and hangs around Pikesville til I'm done, and we have to leave no later than like 5 or a little after 5! So I was hoping, since I got to the site only a few hours after the e-mail was sent, that I would get a rather early time slot, maybe the first, if possible, since a lot of people might work and not be able to get em til they get off. I was lucky for the most part, unfortunately, the company isn't starting appointments until like 3:00pm! I was a little disappointed, as I wanted to be able to spend a little more time with my baby before I had to go to class. The first time, at 3:00, was taken, sadly. But it seemed they were offering slots in 10 minute increments, if I remember correctly, and so I was able to get the second available time slot there was, which was 3:10! The place is nearly 20 minutes away though, I figured they were gonna be at some hotel in the city, but, maybe Best Western was the only one they could get, hmmm. So yeah, we gotta get outta here not long after 2:30, because I do wanna be there a little early, just so we're THERE and we can get our baby right at 3:10, because they do have a lot of people to give babies to, and they only have about 10 minutes of time in between each appointment it seems, so it's VERY important for us to be on time, that way, we can go in RIGHT at 3:10 and get it over with, or as soon as they will take us, they could even take us early I suppose if the person before us is done quickly. I cannot WAIT to get her. The company says that for the first couple days we shouldn't mess with them and should just leave them in their cages and/or bonding pouches, but I cannot help it! I want to hold her and everything, but I wont hold her too much. I will, however, keep her in the bonding pouch and wear that for a while. She's gotta bond with us, and the sooner the better. I'd like her to start bonding with us before she starts meeting and bonding with other people, and I know there are A LOT of people anticipating coming to see her sometime, including Dustin's family that lives in the house. But she has to trust SOMEONE before we go scaring her with tons of big, scary people. So, as long as she begins to get used to me, that will be good, but I'd like her bonded with both Dustin and I. I don't want her to bond with other people more than me or him, since we're her primary owners. It needs to be me and Dustin first, then the family that lives in the house all the time, like Dustin's parents and brothers, then Dustin's step brothers, since they're here Wednesdays and weekends. After they've been bonded to them is when she can start bonding with the animals and with friends. I mean she can be introduced to friends before bonding with the people in the house, just, hopefully not too often. I think it's more important that she's comfortable around everyone that's going to be around her more often first. I wish I didn't have class though. I'll only get to spend like a little more than an hour in a half with her before I gotta go. Then she's all by herself since Dustin doesn't come home while I'm in school! I don't wanna leave her alone, the company encourages us to bring our sugar glider with us wherever we possibly can, which isn't too terribly hard. We have a bonding pouch that you zip them up in, this is perfectly comfortable and warm for them, as they love pockets, and this is one BIG pocket! The pouch just can go right around your neck with the string attached to it, enabling you to carry them hands free! And if you maybe have to go somewhere they're possibly not allowed [or somewhere cold] you can zip a jacket or hoodie over the pouch so it's covered up. The sugar glider will be perfectly content. Gliders tend to also get predictable bathroom habits and wont tend to go in their pouch often [a lot of debate goes on about this, but a personal friend had a glider, and said she never had to wash the pouch because her glider never peed or pooped in it]. As long as they're taken out every so often, like 3 or 4 hours maybe, depending, kinda like humans, to go to the bathroom [and you can just use like a little wipe or something to hold under them and let them go on that] they should be okay. And, also, you should keep a slice of apple in there with them, this provides food, and even hydration for them. If they're going to be in there for a long period of time, like several hours, you just have to be sure to maybe bring their water bottle along or some water and a bowl they can drink from. Bringing some food pellets or whatever you feed them is a good idea too. Since baby would be home alone, for like 5 hours or something, I told Dustin maybe he could bring her along with him, in her pouch, while he sits in Barnes and Noble while I'm in school. I don't see really any harm in it, as she'll be in her pouch. If he needs to let her go to the bathroom, he can just step outside to his car, grab some wipes/paper towels, what have you, and let her go, same goes for water. Just anytime he needs to take her out, he can just step out to the car and leave his bookbag/laptop to save his seat [this is not a bad community, it's actually a predominantly Jewish community, and he's seen people leaving laptops sit unattended for periods of maybe 20 some minutes without someone even sizing it up]. He could even let an employee know he needed to run out to his car and to just glance over at his stuff, or even someone in the area of where he's sitting if they plan to stick around for like 20 minutes. If he's really not comfortable leaving his lappy, he can always take that and just leave his backpack, theres not anything in there for people to take honestly, so -shrug- or even just leaving his hoodie right there and letting people around know he'll brb and to not let anyone take the spot [spots are hard to find at B&N sometimes]. So that covers just about all the bases. And I mean, she'll probably sleep most of the time anyway, since she's just a little baby. The ONLY worry I have, honestly, is that she might make noise. Gliders aren't always noisy creatures, but when they DO make noise, it's pretty loud. And she's brand new and just a baby, and has just recently left her momma, so I'm just afraid she might start crabbing or something. I would think though, that the dark, warm pouch, with Dustin's jacket over it, would keep her rather secure and comfy, to the point where she'll just wanna sleep. I told Dustin, if she makes noise. He can quickly, get himself outside, and, just as when he would take her potty, he can leave something at his seat, and then calm her down by peaking in at her, or by taking her to the car for some attention. Also, he could peek in at her for attention in the bathroom, not let her out of course, but just go in a stall and comfort her with a hand, or talking maybe if no one's in there. If the employees or other customers there wonder what the noise was, he can just say it was his computer or just his cell phone. I think it sounds okay to me. I don't know, it's up to him and his comfort zone with the idea. I just don't feel so great knowing that my baby is going to be cooped up in her cage, in this room alone! We could put her downstairs with the family, but, we wont have had much time to introduce her to them, and like I said, I want her to be bonding with US first, and everyone else doesn't know the rules about gliders and stuff and what should and shouldn't be done, we need to talk to them about it first, and not everyone is home when we leave. Plus, there's the cats, and the cats might try getting a little over curious and scare her. I don't want anyone tempted to hold her yet either. Cause I'm not even supposed to hold her, I'm pretty much keepin her in the pouch for safety, let her get my scent for a couple days, since that's what we're sposed to do. So yeah, we'll see how it all goes, I think it'd be fine, but it's honestly up to Dustin! I JUST WANT HER! Time is passing too slowly, and I have nothing to do. I'm kinda tired but whenever I go to bed too early, like this time, I'll wake up at like 4 or 5 or something in the morning, and can't sleep anymore, and I want rest! Hence this long stupid blog post v_v;

Just feel like it...

So it's late, but, I just feel like writing right now. I have nothing else to do pretty much. Things seem to be going pretty well lately. I've started my make-up class at Von Lee International School of Aesthetics. This coming Tuesday, I will be half way done and only will have 5 more classes to go til graduation! That's pretty exciting I think. I'm probably going to end up working at MAC Cosmetics. They told me they were accepting apps. right now, so that's good. They said all I need to do is know how to do make-up and be good with customers, no prev. job experience necessary, according to the woman I talked to anyway. I talked to a girl in my make-up class who worked for MAC in a Nordstrom, and she said the interview process is really intense and intimidating. I'm glad she warned me, but now I'm scared about trying to get a job there, I don't exactly do well when I'm nervous and under pressure. But we'll see about that. If MAC doesn't work out, it'll likely be Sephora that I go for. I mean, and that's all until I can get my name out there enough. I mostly would just like to freelance and do make-up on my own and make my own money. But I have to build up some loyal clients first. I've already been hired for my first freelancing job, so that's exciting. A friend of my mom's, her daughter has prom in May. So they're going to pay me a week ahead of time to do a test run, and I guess if everything goes okay, then I'll come back the day of prom, and they'll pay me for that too :] so it's pretty great. I have no idea how much I'm getting paid. Probably not a lot, since it's just prom make-up, it's not going to take a while and I'm not going to be there doing it very long. I don't even think I get to choose my price, which kinda sucks, since that's what freelancing is all about, being able to do what you want and charge your own prices. But, for now, I need to take what I can get. And hopefully, Danielle [the girl going to prom] might refer me to her friends. Although, that wont be of too much help if she and most of her friends are seniors, I'm not sure if they're 11th or 12th, regarding prom anyway. My cousin said she'd let anyone she knew about me that needed their make-up done and tell me about it and stuff, so that's good. But she's pretty young, I think she's like 14, so I don't think she or any of her friends need special occasion make-up any time soon. I'm getting ahead of myself here though. I'm not even graduated yet! But the class is going pretty great. I mean, it's pretty intense, but it's a lot of fun! Dustin starts school soon. He starts just after I graduate. It's going to be weird. Cause he'll be gone from like sun up til probably close to dinner time! I'm going to miss him, a lot lot lot. But in June, I may be going on a cruise with my mom and some family for a week, so at least I can look forward to that week to take my mind off of Dustin being in school, and since he can't come because of school :[[ sucks. It's going to be hard to sleep without him during that cruise. But that's a ways away. Still though, I'm ready for these first 6 months of Dustin's schooling to be DONE with already and he hasn't even started! Only because after the 1st 6 mo., he starts his PAID EXTERNSHIP! So if I don't get a job by October, at least Dustin will have one, and wherever he gets placed for that is likely where he'll end up staying, if they like him. At least til we save enough for him to open his own bakery! But yeah, that's SUPER exciting, and he wont be gone like ALL the time so far away. I mean he'll still be gone several hours probs, but, he'll likely be in Westminster, or at least Carroll County, rather than Gaithersburg, where the school is, which is well over an hour away! And he -hopefully- wont have to wake up and go so early once he's working. But, I'm getting WAY ahead of myself AGAIN! I keep thinking too much about the future. One thing I'm really focusing on though, is the wedding. Unfortunately it seems the wedding will not be this October, but next. For one, we just don't really have much money atm, and I can't leave all the costs to our parents. Also, Dustin will be out of school by next October. One BIG reason it really needs to be postponed is the fact that we've changed our theme. We decided to go along with a steampunk theme! So now, I want this awesome Victorian dress. It's between 2 different ones, one is around $600 or $700, the other is nearly $900! So REALLY expensive, compared to the dress I originally wanted, which was less than $100! And the cake, we decided, is based off this one steampunk cake we saw, and it's a bit complicated. Our cake already is going to be min. $1000. But I think it could even near close to $2000 or at least $1500! I also have decided it isn't likely all our family will fit in Dustin's backyard for the ceremony. So it's looking like we're going to go with something like one of the nearby parks/nature centers, like Piney Run or something like that. So that's more money. Then there's the cost of the reception area, which we think we're going to use The Riding Club. Not sure though. -Sigh- everything's just more expensive now. But, it's exactly the wedding I want. I'd rather wait and have the perfect wedding, than rush and have a not so enjoyable one. But, that's about it that's going on with me. No one reads this, but it's nice to get things out, and it'll be something for my future self to look back on and remember what I was thinking at this time :D! OH wait, I also have been very sick lately! I have a sinus infection and I'm still recovering from it. I'm miserable!! And I'm swallowing so much mucus it's making me sick to my stomach! It's gross honestly. GOD I'M TIRED, I'm gonna go now...yeah.

Hmmm...

So I've begun to wonder why I really have this blog, tbh. I mean, it's not like I've told anyone I have one [kinda forgot about that part] and so no one even reads this or comments it, lol. But, I've thought about it and decided that it's probably a good thing to have anyway, even if people don't read it. It's a good way to rant I would say. Speaking of rants...


Things just...haven't been going the best lately, to be honest. I mean, I guess in general with my life I don't have much to complain about. I have someone who loves me forever, I am living somewhere rent free, I don't have to have a job [not that I could even get one right now], I get money [most of the time] when I need it, and I'm about to start beauty school in a couple weeks. But I guess it's smaller aspects of my personal life I'm getting annoyed and stressed about. For one, sure, I'm glad about beauty school, but I'm super nervous and stressed out about it. It seems like it should be so easy to do, but I still feel like...I don't know, like I'm gonna fail anyway. It's not like I need beauty school to be a make-up artists, but employers would really like the fact that I have a diploma for make-up artistry. Also, my social life is crap lately. I talk to people online and stuff and I love that, but I never SEE anyone anymore. All my good friends I used to see and talk to nearly everyday, I don't anymore, and it definitely isn't my fault. I have all the time in the world, right now, and these people know that. But it's like my friends have no time for me or whatever. I mean, it's whatever, I still have those that I do hang out with, but even when I do hang out with some friends, it always seems like something's wrong. Like I hung out with my friend Krystal today, whom I love very very much, and she just moved back to MD from CA, and I'm VERY happy about that. But, what I'm not happy about is she's been home a couple weeks, and I've only seen her twice. At first, things kept coming up for her and she couldn't hang out. When we finally DID get to hang out, it was for her birthday, and like, it wasn't just me and her or anything, we were with other people, which was understandable, I can't have her all for me on her birthday, duh. But I just saw her today. We were supposed to hang out for dinner, and so I called my dad asking him if he could reload my debit card with money [he offers me this money, I do not demand it from him or feel entitled to it, so don't think I'm just a spoiled ungrateful brat, I'm not, I am VERY grateful]. My dad said he would and he'd have it on there by dinner time tonight. But then I find out she told me something came up and wanted to hang out for lunch, which was fine, because I wanted to see her sooner anyway. I was super super excited to be able to hang out just me and her [and Dustin too, but I don't mind him being there because he doesn't interrupt our time and interject all the time]. But I was upset because my dad hadn't reloaded my card yet, so I wasn't gonna be able to get anything food wise. But we go anyway, because Krystal offered to pay for lunch. But once we arrive, she mentions another friend, Chasity will be joining us. Which I love Chasity, she's my friend, we get along, she's funny. But...I haven't got to hang out with Krystal without other people at ALL in a very very very long time. And Krystal was already planning to go out to Bourbon with Chasity tonight as is. So I was just a little upset we were hanging out alone because Chasity happened to be coming to the mall to run errands. But they invited me out with them to Bourbon tonight, which I was kinda excited about because I haven't been to a club yet and I'm almost 20. So I told them I'd love to go if I get money. They then mentioned we can get in free tonight if we dress up in mardi gras garb, like beads and a mask. So I was like alright cool, and they mentioned how they were going out to buy masks and beads today and invited me to go along with them for that. They knew I had no money, so I thought that meant they were gonna get like a bunch of masks and cheap beads and that I could wear some. But, I mean, I was barely talked to at all while we were at the party store [and honestly that's how it was the whole time all 4 of us were together, I was kinda just behind with Dustin while they walked ahead and talked]. And they bought a bunch of masks, yes, but they were these ones that said "tease" and "sexy" and "bad" and stuff like that, and I DO NOT belong wearing ANYTHING like that at all. And they only bought a couple of beads for themselves. So yeah. Not that I have money anyway, I haven't been able to get a hold of my dad AT ALL, the phone does a half ring and goes to voicemail. So I'm fucked with that, I have no stuff to wear and no money so that equals not going out tonight. I love those two and wanna hang out with them tonight, but I also feel bad for Dustin, he's not a club person, def. But I wouldn't not want him to go, because I have a feeling I could EASILY become the third wheel, kinda like today [even though we had 4 people], especially because of the fact of my high blood pressure, I'm going to need to take frequent breaks and sit down, and of course I'm gonna have to do that alone, they aren't gonna wanna sit. So I'd wanna have dustin there to be with me. -Sigh- Anyway, end rant. I'm just pissed off today basically, but it's probably somehow caused by me, I don't know. I love my friends, and my family, but...I don't know, everything's just going wrong.

Midnight Launch...

So, tonight, I HOPEFULLY [I cannot stress the word "hopefully" enough] will be going to the Bioshock 2 midnight launch! My fiance, Dustin, and I just found out recently Bioshock 2 does plan to offer a midnight launch. Unfortunately, we asked a friend that works at our nearest Gamestop, which is in a mall, if they were participating in the midnight launch, and he said they were not. He told us that if they wished to participate in the midnight launch, they would have to pay money [I assume this is because they need to keep the mall doors open MUCH later that the usual 9pm closing time, and so they need to pay security guards probably to stay late]. SO, Dustin and I decided to go and check out the next nearest STAND ALONE Gamestop. We seem to have found one, just 19 minutes away [not THAT much farther than our mall is from us] in Hampstead. But, we seem to have a little teensy bit of a pickle here. See, Bioshock 2 offers 2 DLC [downloadable content] characters if you reserve the game ahead of time, as most know. So, of course, wanting the DLC, Dustin went to our local Gamestop [wanting to reserve the Ltd. Ed. of the game, but apparently it was too late for that] and he reserved the game for himself, not even thinking about the midnight launch. So, our little problem is, we don't know if we're allowed to pick up the game at any Gamestop we so choose, or if we MUST pick it up at the one where we reserved it. I mean, he has a receipt, so it's not like he has no proof he reserved it, and I can imagine all Gamestops have one computer system, so they could tell that way too. But, I just don't know if they will allow it. We asked the same friend we talked to earlier about the midnight launch, but, it's rather early, so we aren't expecting a response from him anytime soon. We can always just call one of the two Gamestops and ask [that's also provided the Hampstead location is doing it] if they're doing the midnight launch, but again, it's only 8:30AM and we cannot call either location until 10AM. I really hope we can though, I mean, I know that there's nothing we can do about it if we can't pick the game up at a different location, but, ugh, if only we thought to ask about the midnight launch ahead of time, we could have just saved ourselves the trouble and reserved it at the Hampstead location to begin with if they're doing the launch! As you can tell, yes, we are VERY excited about this game. I may not be a 1st person shooter champ, but, I absolutely love Bioshock, and now, there's multiplayer, so my fiance and I may play together, and being able to do so at midnight would be awesome, instead of having to wait until 10AM tomorrow!


UPDATE: So, Dustin just called the Gamestop in Hampstead where we wanted to go to the midnight launch. They informed him that they ARE doing the midnight launch. But, unfortunately, Dustin MUST pick up his copy that he reserved from the Gamestop where he first reserved it. I had a bad feeling about that, ugh. -Sigh- so, we're not going to the midnight launch. I mean, I guess we could go just for funzies, but what's the sense in that? Blllaaahhh, screw you Town Mall of Westminster and the Gamestop contained therein, now I'm all sad. But, at least Dustin and I can try to wake up bright and early tomorrow [if we get to bed early enough] and get to Gamestop at 10AM and get the game :] heh.

Excitement ensues...

So today, for the most part, has been a pretty boring day. I slept a TON. I had gone to bed, pretty early last night, at like...11:30pmish. For people that don't know me well, that's WAY early for me! But, I woke up around...8amish and decided to stay awake, that way, I could keep this lovely sleeping schedule. See, I've been struggling a BUNCH with my sleeping schedule, going to bed way too late, thus sleeping in extremely late. But, around...I dunno, probably lunch time or something along those general lines, I decided I was super tired, and took a nap. This was nooooo ordinary nap! It lasted until nearly 7pm! I do always say that if we sleep for a very long time, then obviously, our bodies need it and that's why we sometimes sleep WAY too much, but geeze, this was insane, haha, but whatever. I normally would be slightly bothered by it, but, I'm feeling pretty tired right now, so I think I can still get to bed before the sun comes up, lol. But that's basically all I've done today, I did just finish watching Milk though, a very good movie. If you haven't seen it, definitely see it, especially if you support gay rights. And right now, I'm about to start doing some laundry [well, okay, my fiance, Dustin, is going to do the laundry, but I'm gonna separate it and put it in bags for him, lol] and then help Dustin clean this extremely messy room of ours. But, there was one golden bit of my day that I am very excited about. A few hours ago, my fiance's step-dad came and talked to us. He started talking to us about Mayhem Festival [Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Norma Jean, In This Moment, 3 Inches of Blood, Hatebreed, Chimaira, Shadows Fall, and Winds of Plague]. He told us how he's really excited and wants to go, and then, asked us if we wanted to go! He's paying for our tickets and getting them ASAP. It's on August 8th, so it's still pretty far off. But I'm really excited. I don't really like all of the bands, but then again, I haven't listened to all of them. But I definitely like In This Moment, Korn, and Rob Zombie, kinda Atreyu. But yeah, so that was the exciting bit of my day, and I'm pretty happy about it. It's snowing right now...it has been for like...ever now. Normally that would have me excited, but, the fact that I'm not in the public school system right now, and wont be til March [okay, wont be on the public school system technically, but Von Lee follows Baltimore County public school so -thumbs up-] kinda makes it so that I really hate the snow atm. The weather people say we could have a total of 6 inches by the end of it, ugh, how sucky. So I'm probably stuck in the house all day Wednesday and Thursday. We'll see by Friday, but probably stuck then too. Hopefully wont be stuck all weekend, cause I was talking to Krystal [my BFF who just moved back to MD from CA] last weekend about her possibly spending the night here with us one day this weekend! Bahhh so we'll see. But anyway, I'm gona get started on this stupid cleaning and whatnot, urggghhh.

On a personal note...

I may have posted something already today, but that was just an intro, and the other stuff was just all reviews. So now, I would just like to post something on a personal ranting note. So, as I mentioned in my very first post, I am starting beauty school at a school called Von Lee starting in March. I am supposed to graduate in April. I will be taking just a make-up class there, as I want to be a make-up artist, and I am PUMPED for it, let me tell you. But I have others around me that are NOT so pumped! See, let me rewind a bit for you. All throughout high school, I had wanted to be a psychologist. By my later high school years, I decided I wanted to be an adolescent psychologist. So, of course, this is where I set my focus when I started college in the fall of 2008 when I graduated high school. But see, college, I soon came to find out, was not something I was ready for, nor was I sure I ever would be. No, the learning isn't really any different from high school. But everything was just a lot more stressful. The content was fine, but your quality of work was expected to be much higher, and I continued to adapt to that, with each class I took. But see, me being who I am, I hated being in a place, a big place, all by myself, with no friends at all. See, that's the opposite of what high school was for me. But, luckily, through the beginning of my college classes, I had my fiance with me! But, unfortunately, he was majoring in something completely different, and I knew we'd have to part ways eventually and take our respective classes, once we did gen. ed. classes. This made me very nervous, because there were some academic classes [like math and science] I'd have to do on my own, because, see, we were on different levels, I scored a bit lower on my placement exam. This made me more nervous. I've had many a panic attack just related to college stuff. So, I recently, like just last month, decided my mental health was not worth risking JUST to become a psychologist, because I mean, that was only community college, think of how much stress I'd be during my next 4 years at a private college! So I decided to look into something I had always thought about, make-up artistry. So, I went online, searched and found a school about 30-40 minutes away from where I live, and that's not too bad at all. I settled on this place the more I read. I got so nervous though, because I knew I would still have to tell my mother, the one who would pay for it. But, I eventually got the guts to tell her, and she told me I need to do what makes me happy, so I was VERY relieved! All my friends around me were very supportive just as well, and it really made me smile to know I had such support. But, that was before I told my other family members about it. Needless to say, they had to find out sometime, and that was around Christmas that they did. We were all having a nice dinner, and I so casually told them about it, because I had SUCH support previously, I thought I'd get the same support here [this is my step-family by the way]. Bad idea. Everyone, generally, began to gang up on me telling me how stupid I was to drop out of college for this, how they said they knew I could do it and I might as well get my AA. But see, THEY AREN'T ME! NO ONE IS BUT ME! SO I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO IS FULLY ABLE TO DETERMINE WHAT I CAN HANDLE AND WHAT I CAN'T! And I was just DONE with college, it isn't me, I can't keep handling the stress. But I was almost in tears. But I was basically just like "okay, well that's you, and yeah, I could go back, but I'm not going back, I'm doing this, because it's what I want and that is ALL that matters." I just STILL keep having people occasionally come to me though, telling me I shouldn't miss out on college. And I am SO SICK OF IT! I wish people could just support me in what I wanna do, seriously! This is what will make me happy. And people are just gonna have to deal, I'm already enrolled officially in beauty school, so I'm DOING THIS, as long as my mom, fiance, and friends support me, that's all that matters! But that was my rant, I think I'm done now. But just as a note to all of you, don't EVER let anyone sway your life decisions, you do what YOU WANT, okay? Because you're the only one who knows what you want!

Lush Review: Product Number Twelve: Sunny Side Bubble Bar

Product: Sunny Side bubble bar.
Price: $5.95.
Vegan?: Yes.
Online description: "If shimmery liquid gold water isn't enough to make you smile, the refreshing citrus scent will."
Review: I'm really attracted to shiny things, so, like the Holiday bubble bar, I decided to give this glittery bar a chance. I am also a huge fan of citrus, another thing that pulled me in. I also thought it was hilarious how each bar in the store had a small triangle chunk cut out of it, reminding me of pacman, needless to say, I had to have it! Once again, just as with the Holiday bar, this glitter will get EVERYWHERE, so be careful where you pull it out/cut it up or whatever. With me, as always, I just chopped it into 4s in the bathroom, my fiance jokingly told me that it looked like I killed Elton John in our bathroom because I had glitter all over me and the counter after cutting up this bar, so, be careful, haha. Anyway, I took one of my 4 chunks and crumbled it under the running bathwater. Immediately the water was a golden yellow color, once it all got spread around [sometimes you may have to spread it around yourself, if you use smaller chunks as I do]. The smell was great, uplifting, and just right. Definitely something to make you happy. The water stays a lovely metallic yellow with glitter pieces floating all around, it made me smile and giggle to say the least! And if you read my last review of the Holiday bubble bar, you learned how many bubbles were made with that bar plus whirlpool jets. This bar produced the SAME results, bubbles galore! I'm not sure if this would happen with any bubble bath [like even with generic liquid kind] or if it's just unique to lush bubble bars. I don't know, but either way, it's amazing! So check this bar out for a bubbly [literally!] good time :]
See, look at the little mini pacman chunk, haha.

Lush Review: Product Number Eleven: Holiday Bubble Bar

Product: Holiday Bubble Bar.
Price: $6.95.
Vegan?: Yes.
Online Description: Bathe in this bewitchingly sparkly, ruby-red potion and wish for your heart's desire.
Review: In the store, I expected to smell something more spicy or earthy when I went to sniff this, because that's what you typically think of as a christmasy smell, and that's what this is, a christmas [okay, holiday] bar. But when I sniffed it, I was pleasantly surprised by the floral like aroma. I was immediately attracted to it because, well, it's covered in red glitter! The glitter is like any other glitter out there, if you touch it, it sticks to you. So I was a little apprehensive about buying this thing, as I thought it might stick to me in the bath, and I don't want glitter on me forever, because you know how glitter is! But, as usual, I cut my bar into portions, this particular one I cut into 4 portions and for my bath I used one of them. It turns the water a lovely shade of red immediately and the small piece produced an amazing amount of color and aroma, and even a pretty nice amount of bubbles for the size of the piece. But here's where things went crazy, yet amazing. I turned on the jets in our tub, this made the bubble amount grow EXTREMELY. I know the bar wouldn't have produced this on its own accord, but the fact that it produced this amount of bubbles with a little help from jets is crazy, I still attribute the bubble amount to the bar at least a little, obviously, so this bar packs a punch with bubbles, if you have a whirlpool type tub, definitely use this bar. I have used other bubble bars with the jets on, and didn't really get this amount of bubbles. I don't know if it was a fluke, but I don't care, I was consumed, it was amazing. Oh and for the glitter, it did not stick to me in the tub, that's good news. But it made the bath look pretty. Granted, I only used a small portion. But anyway, I loved this bar. Just be careful if you use jets, you might be surprised how much these bubbles grow!
I have a photo as well of how many bubbles this bar happened to create that my fiance took [don't worry, I'm FULLY covered in at least a foot of bubbles] but I wont bother to post it. If anyone wants to see, they can ask and I will show you!

Lush Review: Product Number Ten: Each Peach Massage Bar

Product: Each Peach (And Two's a Pair).
Price: $8.75 (also note you're going to need a tin to put it in...which is $2.95, I know, it sucks to have to buy a tin separately, but, you don't want this thing to melt, and this tin will help!).
Vegan?: Yes.
Note: This MAY melt.
Online Description: Bright and cheery citrus bar to uplift your spirit and soothe your muscles.
Review: I was in Lush looking for things other than just bath bombs and bubble bars. I still have plenty of stuff left over from my last trip, I don't need it all piling up on me (though I did buy 2 more bubble bars haha). But anyway, I asked the clerk what Lush had in the way of lotions. She showed me around to a few of the typical "liquid like" lotions, like the kind that comes in bottles (except Lush sells theirs in little mini cartons, that look kinda like a pint sized ice cream carton thing). Now when I smelled all of these, they all seemed rather bland and the same. I told her I liked sweeter smells as opposed to earthy, hoping that'd help, but she showed me ones that were supposed to smell sweet or flowery or fruity and whatever, but nothing suited! Some lotions didn't even have a scent! I was disappointed and about to give up, when she finally mentioned solid lotions. I thought I had seen it all when I heard about Lush having solid PERFUME. But I figured why not check em out. She showed me to a few, not many I liked. There was a small one I did like that smelled like chocolate, but it was TOO small! So Finally I came upon Each Peach, and fell in love with it. As you can tell I just love sweet citrus scents. They just make you feel so happy and, refreshed. Plus, it has a pretty flower design on it, which I assume are peach blossoms. I used this massage bar on the way home. These bars are solid, but when combined with heat, like on your skin, they melt. So basically, you just take it and rub it wherever you want to put it and rub it in! The smell of it is rather strong and can be true once you've rubbed it into your hands, but, I enjoy scents like this, so it was nice for me! I will mention, it is rather slippery. Also, it definitely hardcore moisturizes your hands, and makes them very slippery and greasy like. So, if I were you, I would def. used a bit more sparingly, so that your skin can absorb it a little bit better in small amounts. I used a bit too much I think when I first used it, so my hands were VERY slippery! These bars are also highly recommended for massages, so convince that loved one of yours to give you a little treat! There are many other kinds of bars they have, some are just for fun, but some have great uses! This one in particular uplifts you and soothes your muscles! I even saw one that was like an icy-hot kinda thing. It had mint for cooling and cinnamon for heating for sore muscles, and it didn't smell half bad. But I can't really speak for that bar, since I did not buy it, but by all means check it out!
The cool little tin the product comes in, but that you, unfortunately must buy separate.

Lush Review: Product Number Nine: Lemslip Buttercream

Product: Lemslip Buttercream.
Price: Depends on how much you want, they cut from a large bar and package and price by size. In the shop it was $7 something for every 1/4 lb. Online it is $15 for 7oz, $7.50 for 3.5 oz. Mine, it was .26lbs, and I paid $9.10. But prices vary from as low as like $7.50 or whatever to 15 bucks I think! Wide range.
Vegan?: Yes.
Note: Product MAY melt!
Online Description: Fresh lemon and lime cream to transform spotty and oily skin.
Review: When I smelled this bar in the store, I fell in love with it immediately. I didn't even know what it was at first and I wanted it! When the clerk explained to me what it was, it was perfect. The smell is just so happy, citrusy, and uplifting. The bar may smell a little strong for some, but I promise you, it does not smell that strong on your hands when you're done! This stuff, in a nutshell, is soap! But see, most soap is mostly soap and a little fragrance added. With buttercream bars, less than half of the bar is soap, the rest is buttercream, essential oils, fragrances, and other yummy things for your skin! The clerk warned me there would not be a lot of lather coming from it, since it is less soap in it, it's just meant for a little lather, and a whole lotta goodness! When I used it, I tried to use warm water, but be careful, warm water may melt the bar too much. But the warm water, I felt, would help it lather a bit more. So I wet my hands and the bar and rubbed the bar all over my hands. After, I rubbed my hands together and the clerk was right, definitely not as much lather as other soaps, but you know what, that's okay, it's still doing its job! Of course right away you catch the lovely lemony scent, it's so great. After I was all lathered up, I rinsed off the residue, and let me tell you, my hands felt so different. I almost thought I didn't wash it all off at first, but then, I realized, that was the softness of my hands! So, I dried my hands and enjoyed the softness I am left with and the pleasant smell as well. As promised, the scent left on your hands is not as strong. Just a faint pleasant smell, or at least that's how I feel. By the way, don't be afraid to use this in the shower, you can use it for that too! I don't recommend leaving it IN the shower though, it'll probably melt a lot. But, I could recommend for you to find a small dish, and just place it on that, in the bathroom, near a sink or something!
This is the little box the product came in, above.

Lush Review: Product Number Eight: Creamy Candy Bubble Bar

Product: Creamy Candy Bubble Bar.
Price: $6.65.
Online Description: Scrumptiously sweet candy bar for mega bubbles.
Review: I loved this bar the minute I saw it. It looks pretty cute and it smells absolutely AMAZING! I can't believe I waited so long to use this bubble bar! This thing is super tiny, but it can pack a punch. I only took off a small end of the bubble bar, as I like to save my products and make them last over a longer period of time. Surprisingly though, it produced a pretty large amount of bubbles for the small chunk I used. Of course, they dissipated much faster, I think the bubbles would have lasted longer had I used the entire bar. The water didn't really color, this could be because I only used a bit. It only very slightly tinted the water with a cloudiness, although I expected a slight pink. But like I said, a whole bar could probably produce a slight pink tint. The thing that pleased me most was the smell. Not only did it smell great in the beginning, but I smelled the bar throughout the entire bath, despite the small chunk, I really expected the smell to fade to nothing, but I was proven wrong! Each bar also has a little "candy" flower inserted in the top. Now, I have no idea if this is real candy. I also have no idea if this does anything special to the bath. The chunk I used did not have the flower on it, so I have yet to find out how that will change the bath, if at all.

Lush Review: Product Number Seven: Supernova Bath Bomb

Product: Supernova Bath Bomb.
Price: $6.15 and it iss Vegan.
Online description: "Effervescent orange and cognac host a bath party without the hangover."
Review: I really enjoy this bath bomb a lot. It's very different from the other two bath bombs that I got. For one, it was very sweet and playful smelling, my others were more for relaxation. This bomb just promotes happiness! Also the bomb has bits of confetti embedded all in it! As it dissolves in your bath, the confetti disperses, giving you your own mini bath party! Most confetti just drifts eventually to the bottom of the bath, and I found that I rather like that, rather than if they float, because if they didn't sink, they'd be more likely to stick to me, and that would get a little annoying. Also makes it a little easier to wash your hair or body [using a cup for the water] if you really want to, no worries about confetti in your hair, unless of course you just don't care! This bomb also turns your bath water a lovely pink color, and it also seemed to leave a milky white, thin foam on the top of the water at first as well. As always I cut my bomb into many pieces, so this was just a small piece of the bomb and it was plenty scent, color, confetti, and happiness for me! One gripe I have though, and this is not the bombs fault, but I think my tub clogged when I tried to drain the bath water. This may be the partial fault of the confetti. But, keep in mind, my tub isn't the best in the world, it's a pretty old tub, and the drain's cloggage has probably been building up over time, as I do not think anyone has ever taken the time to go into and "empty" the drain so to speak. But, just in case this is all entirely the fault of the confetti, please, make sure not to use a whole bomb, or even half a bomb for your first bath. It's tempting, I know, buuuuut I wouldn't want anyone to clog up their tub's drain or anything like that. If your small piece does not clog, you can stick with that size, or maybe a size a bit bigger. Just monitor whether or not your tub becomes clogged and judge your bomb pieces by that. I think if you have a nicer and newer tub, you shouldn't have any problems. Like I said, the one I used is old, and has a "cover" over the drain kinda that has little slats or circles through which the water or what have you drains. But don't let that hold you back from this sweet, fun bomb!

Lush Review: Product Number Six: The Comforter Bubble Bar

Product: The Comforter Bubble Bar.
Price: $8.75, it is vegan.
Online description: "Velvety berry and cream bath parfait softens skin with lavish bubbles."
Review: This stuff is WELL worth the money in my mind. One of the biggest things I would suggest to you of the things I've suggested so far. For one, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS THING! IT'S HUGE! It's at least as big as the size of my hand. I read that you should break it in half I think in their catalog, but, this stuff is a lot of money, and I wanna get more than 2 baths out of this thing! So I cut the bar in half then, I cut each half into threes, leaving me with six mini bars. At first I thought I would have to end up using 2 of my minis because, well I was skeptical about whether or not I would have enough bubbles or nice smelling water. But, I crumbled this stuff under my running water, as directed, and WOW! Right off, you've got hundreds of little bubbles, and once I was done, I had a tub full of MANY MANY bubbles! This little piece gave off so much! Not only the bubbles, but as the pink bar seeped into the water, the bath water began to turn a lovely shade of pink, making your bath time even more enjoyable. As I stepped in, I could smell the lovely sweetness. It wasn't very strong, but that wasn't to be expected since I only used a small piece. I was fine with the little hints and notes, but if you're one that likes stronger smells, I recommend that you use more than a little piece of six. But, since Lush recommends half, I wouldn't use the whole bar, I could imagine that could wind up being a waste. But MAN did I love this thing! Also I think there were little hints of glitter shimmers in it too! I really did enjoy my bath. Of course, since the tub I used wasn't very good, the water kept going down and getting sucked out, I don't know how to explain it. So i had to replace the water and my bubbles and pinkness were gone! Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I used MORE of the bar, but who knows! I'm moving soon and will have a better tub to test this out on! But I really do HIGHLY recommend this bar, it's so great and nice to relax with. It's name suggests just what it is!

Lush Review: Product Number Five: Golden Slumbers Bath Bomb

Product: Golden Slumbers Bath Bomb.
Price: $6.15 and it is Vegan.
Online description: Relaxing lavender and neroli induce sleep without the sheep.
Review: This bath bomb was not as great as the other one I used, the Rainbow Worrier. For one, this bomb was very messy. It was very flaky and powdery. I don't know if I just happened to have a lose and banged up bomb, that is highly possible. I once again cut the bomb into many pieces and made a mess doing so. Be sure to do it somewhere you can clean up, with any bomb, not just this one. This bomb had a very light and sweet scent with a touch of the lavender. You could smell the lavender much more as you cut the bomb, if you decide to cut it. I would recommend with this one to use bigger chunks. There are pros and cons to bigger and smaller chunks with this bomb. If you use smaller chunks you have less lavender blossoms floating around in the tub [this bomb releases little lavender blossom pieces which kind of get annoying because they stick to you] but with smaller chunks, you cannot really smell the bomb. I used a smaller piece and could barely smell it so I stuck another in and still could barely smell it. Then again, if you use a whole bomb, half, or just big chunks, you get the relaxing lavender that will ease you to sleep, but I imagine that means more lavender blossoms. So if you don't mind the blossoms or using a whole bomb, then by all means use as much as you need. One cool thing about this bomb is it has a golden powder coating. I suppose it is maybe supposed to add a light shimmer to your skin maybe, but it did not for me, but I would assume it's because I didn't use the whole bomb, but the bomb is still very pretty. I don't think I will be buying this bomb again, even though I did like it. The lavender pieces were just too annoying for me. If you're like me, then luckily, Lush has another bomb that induces sleep called Waving Not Drowning. I have not tried this yet, but I will next time I go to Lush and let you know what it's like. Please remember to check anything out on www.lush.com!

Lush Review: Product Number Four: Rainbow Worrier Bath Bomb

Product: Rainbow Worrier Bath Bomb.
Price: $6.75 and it is vegan.
Online desription: Vetivert and sandalwood wipe away worries.
Review: Okay, these bath bomb things are amazing! I only used one so far, but I am in LOVE! There are so many scents and uses for each of them! The store has a limited selection, but online you can get a lot of the others the store may not have. This scent in this particular bath bomb was SO relaxing, I plopped it in the steaming tub, watched it fizz and got in. I also even lit a candle and turned off the lights, it was an amazing bath, I have to say. Not only that, but in the middle of this white bomb is a little pink square with paper wrapped inside. The pink square turned the tub water a lovely light pink. And the little piece of paper was almost like, inspiring words or a fortune I guess? I'm not entire sure of the point of the paper. But it was a nice little surprise. Now, bath bombs are HUGE, most anyway. I suggest you CUT them many times so you get several baths out of them! I cut my in half and then each half in half again, although i ended up with more pieces than that because it broke more, but that's okay, more baths for me! Just put your bomb on a cutting board and used a knife to cut where you wish, I used a hard can to bang the knife into the bomb to cut it better, then i scooped all the pieces and dust up and put it back into the back it came in!